Holy and holey tithes

On this good Sabbath day, believers of the Christian faith are mostly aware of the holy duty of paying TITHES.
I believe it's customary of certain churches on Sundays to remind their flock of paying 10% (YES, 10 PERCENT OF GROSS MONTHLY WAGES!) to the church so that ...
(YOU, the regular and dutiful paying members fill in the bla nks, Desi refrains as he's no dutiful member. Like mGf, recently unmasked Bernard Khoo (@zorro-zorro-unmasked. blogspot.com), Desiderata has stopped the ritual of church-going for a decade or aMore. (Hence, my knotty thoughts on going to the Lavatory/Purgatory on April 1 with Campbell, no, not Campbell soup, you dumbbell, it's pretty Naomi!:).

Some churches I knoweth of stress the duty of payiing tithes several times during one Sundae service so much so if thou art a government servant or mere blue collar worker, you would be made to feel hot under the collar. I would -- even when I was a corporqate employee earning decent wages of some 4k-5k, what more for those earning less than half of what I earned! -- so this is one of the contributing factors of why I stopeed. If you feel uncomfortable at visiting a certian place or in certain company, why be so masochistic, or unkind to thyself, yes?

As I was saying, it's compulsory to pay that 10% tithes at some establishments.
The collections would enable the Pastor to pray for thy salvation, the prayerers live in posh mansions, and they drive in posh cars so they bring prestige to their houses of prayers, to earn a greater following, and to earn more tithes ... so the cycle and story goes.

When a topdog from a Listed Company donates RM1million to the Church, as procaimed by the smiling Pastor, the 'hole congregation will let out resounding Allelujah, a thousand times, and Amore. But I also know that the CEO in the stael of the night the year before almost brought the lsited company down on its knees when the head put his hands into the (s)till, taking out 10million. Yes, mathematics would tell thee RM1mil is 10% of RM10mil -- so he goes down on his knees to pray for salvation, much aided -- accessoried? Is dare such a word, mGf brudder zorro or sisdar freelunch? -- by the smiling Pastor.

So that poor church mouses (yes, not spelt mice, because that refers to animal species) like Desi sleeping in late in his rat hole, or having long drawn CON BF at Min Kee Hawker Centre. Two courses at RM5 each, such capitalistic indulgences I shy from my socialtit mates ... one day in SE7EN or Eight. (Eight Days a Week for mGf like NSTmanUnmask thyself on May 19, Yes, like "zorro"!)

Okay, sometimes the chuirch leaders of 10-%, or more acceptable (butt less may eran thee di(r)e warnings of Brimstone and fire!:(, will invite some SPEAKERS from overseas like the US, such as a former spaceman, to add ghlamour to the service.
Yes, a speacman has seen inklings of what Heaven is like (Saw the movie SUNSHINE nyet?), and poor Malaysians through Blood, Sweat and Tears paid in RM had to cough out (Like blood of TB victims) USD paying for five- or six-star hotels in b'g, b'd Koala Lumpuh, throw in limousin(e) chauffeured service -- for their mighty, holy words of wisdom.
(In fact the above is being sarcastic, for those Ignoramuses who don't know Desi's r(H)umour of being quite wilde Oscar winner...I digress, but NO AP! I harbour ambitions to graduate to Simon Cowell's ascerbicism, or witticism to earn BIG, BAD Bucks, but that's quite cocoky of this hoRst, so Dream the American Idol, Dream on...:)

I'm sorry for mGf Anak Merdeka that her fave Sanjaya from "Melaka" I heard, was finally booted, or izzit butted, out last week; Curse Simon the pieman, that Coww!:(

Back to Tithes, fellow Malysians must rue the fact that the Gomen of the Die also collects lots of tithes, more than 10%. In fact, if you believed some UMNO kakis -- yes, I will give thee names if YOU care to track Desi down in the mazey Korner of Furong, near Temiang Korner most nights, and at the Central Market at an Indian curry house -- jest shout-lah, DESI, and without any Errata, I'll come running, Tom Jonah stylo!) YOu bribe me with whisky in exchange for my teh-See.

The tithes that Gomen taketh are in the form of the WASTAGES and SEEPAGES that the fast-tracked and mega projects it implements like it's their fathers' moneies, viz:

* That RM600milliuon the UMNO Prez immediately allocated to ALL THE UMNO DIVISION heads, each receiving durian runtuh of RM3million, to be expened within THREE MONTHS!(NONE for Sarawak because you won't let UMNO in, Yes/No?Mayhaps next time!)

** RM36million given out by the Menteri Besar of Selangor to IJOK RESIDENTS (damn lucky their SA died!) because there is a BUY-election currently in progress.
I think PKR's candidate TAN SRI KHALID IBRAHIM, a former corporate bigwig -- ex-CEO of Kumpulan Guthire and PNB! -- can confirm for us Malaysians the degree of SEEPAGES of the contract values of Gomen projects. Up to 50%, less or more?

Well, if IJOK voters are smart, take the money, the new mosque, the new school hall, the well-tarred roads and covered-up potholes as blessings from God. You finally receive some retuirns on THY TITHES, didn't you?
A long-time coming.
Now, go to your Prayer House and pray for more such goodies.
If only another Gomen SA or MP will doing the Rakyat a favour.
Bring us that buckt of water, or GO KICK A BUCKET!:)

PS: I just lust weak DHL-ed me church a check for 20million that Moo_t courierred Desi from KakarttTA; wonder if it sailed through smoothly, OR bounced like a kangaRUE?
"God save our souls."
Amen/(wo)man.

PPS: Just checked Email to Pimp to PPS and saw the latest email from: Winners@ Freelotto.com Please Confirm that you are (...name-lah!) of Seremban...

If I can ghet a Lawyer to claim that PRIZE< I well donate 90% as Tithe to the long-suffering church. I romise like the good BN candidate of IJOK, now quite a A*Joke.