If you feel beleaguered, here's some MBA laffter!

I seldom salute Establishment leaders -- you know YL's predilections, no? -- but when viewing Datuk Dr Chua Soi Lek on Prime News TV3 last night, I take my hat (Though how's that possible I dunno, I don't wear wan!:) off to that MCA Minister. He looked as cool as a cucumber (I learnt this metaphor in Standard 4, long time, steal remember, seeloh!) even after a dark and dank briefing on the problems besieging yet another hospital. Most other miniSTERS would have appeared agitated. Maybe, constant practice -- medical or othervice -- maketh perfect. Pak Lah should consider mutual switching of this Health expert with that "JKR" expert and we may have less leaks. It won't help some monkey brains at that Zoo House along Jalan Parlimen -- they are in a rarified category.

Okay, let's surf to the relevant news, from The Star, June 23, 2007 page N26:

Pekan Hospital a 'sick project'
:
:
: to follow if I can Cut&Paste!:)
Miss Patience is also Virtuous:)

My patience also ran oouch, so here's FIRST PARA only, at my expense of RM1.50, typing out long-hand, so
be gladfool eh!

PEKAN: Another newly built government
building has been found with defects. This
time, it is the RM90mil Pekan Hospital.
_________________________

Now be a good media supporter, buy-lah one kopi of the People's Paper:)________________________

I do hope my ER -- and I believe the good doctor too! -- have time for light moments. No, don't light up in the hospital compound, don't send off the patients to h'aven too early, it's already overly crowded down dare, with so many righteous Malaysians wanting to look after their neighbours' spiritual salvation.

DISCLAIMER: Some contents may offend, so it's knot recommended for children above 18.
And all kinds of religious fund-AMENTALISTS whose main objective is to raise more and aMore funds to build ladders to that h'aven I spoke about. It may be downwards spiralling, go shopping at Carrefool more ofTEN!:)

__________ LAFFTER IS THE BEST MADSIN!_______________________

A CUP OF TIPS TO START UP THE DAY
courtsey of email from an MBA lecturer, I suppose.
I don't know if mGf maverciksym iucludes such in his curriculum on top of his baby ("bayi") hogwash? Jest Thinking Allowed, so that's both rhetorical and non-rhetorical Q.


LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way
to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a jinn/ghost appears. The jinn says, "Normally, one is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each."

So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want
to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff...
And he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff... And he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"


LESSON 2

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared
inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."

MORAL : "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"

LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to
LA. When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese
are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand
what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.

The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are
you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! Etc......??? "

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what
kind of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of
-kee' am I?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

MORAL : "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"

DESIDERATA: I think I spied many Americano-clones in that Zoo House?
Do you see, even with one eye closed?


________________________ SEX THERAPY___________________________

Can I reserve this Session for tomorrow, being a Sundae day for Rumination?
Ooops, some holy, holey ones might peep in, so I will cuntinue...
As you will see, I not only C&P, I also left all the warts and arrows
and improper paragraphings alone LEST I DISTURB THE COUPLES DOING IT!
If the machine ain't broke, why fix it?
I think Dr Chua won't agree with Desi on this one when it comes to life-saving oxygen machines.

Butt these guys and gays are taking in too much oxygen and exhaling too much carboin dioxide w'ile at it, so they cuntribute to the "ozone hole" thinning which cuntributes to Global Warming, which shortens life on earth. So let's hurry 'em on!
Desi's always promoting Community Service, remember?

> SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
>
>
>Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
>
>"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
>
>"Social Security sex?"
>
>"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live
on!"
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
>
>
>
>LOUD SEX
>
>
>
>A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,
>doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
this
>ear splitting yell."
>
>
>
>
>"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see
what
>the problem is."
>"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
>
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>QUIET SEX
>
>
>
>Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his
wife
>during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when
you
>have an orgasm?"
>
>She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>CONFOUNDED SEX
>
>
>
>A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and
torn
>from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give
him
>back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery
since
>it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500
for
>"small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large."
>
>
>
>The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor
urged him
>to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man
called
>his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came
back
>into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
>
>
>
>
>"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
>
>
>
>
>The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
>
>
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
>
>
>
>A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
>wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting
you a
>headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
>
>
>
>
>"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that

>reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
>
>
>
>WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
>
>My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will
make
>you happy tonight."
>He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all
over the
>doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>ELDERLY SEX
>
>One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92
year old
>husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up
pushing
>him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment .
>Killing him instantly.
>
>
>
>
>Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if
she
>had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, "Yes, your
honor, I
>figured that at 92, if he could have sex .. He could fly"
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
DESI: I thank tow awesome readers who contributed these gems via emel; I shan't name them, but if I receive any defamation suits, I promise I will forward them to the ritefool address. I am only the messenger. Don't shout at me!:(