The Importance of EDITING for a Beautiful Product

desiderata.english

This "special" is principally dedicated to my YoungerReaders, and those OlderThanDesi but still VeryYoungAtHeart, and it goes without saying it's not for those who have "eaten more salt than Desi (has eaten) rice"! This article, save for this Introductory paragraph, first appeared as IT IS in the Borneo Post of Sunday 24 July 2005. For those IgnorantCows reading this, please read till the end, for a TEASER PUZZLE awaits thee with an EPILOGUE, which was not in the BP edition. Further more, a prize awaits, is that incentive enough?



IMPORTANCE OF EDITING FOR A BEAUTIFUL PRODUCT


Dear Readers, especially the YoungOnes, today I’m doing an EDITING EXERCISE with one of your peers’ copy. This article is short, but very important lesson for students to POLISH UP their DRAFTS. A draft copy is an initial piece written by the student. The editing process, which is undertaken by the writer himself/herself or another person recruited for the job, for example, at a publishing house or newspaper, is responsible in making the final copy look as professional as it can.

The EDITING PROCESS involves spotting the obvious errors (we call them HOWLERS because these mistakes make the reader howl, like when one steps on a pin!), the grammar mistakes, with an emphasis on subject-verb agreement, the right tenses being used, proper spelling (in accordance with the British system, not American); replacing a certain word with a more suitable one, or even a phrase that wields a greater impact; re-arranging sentences or ideas to improve the flow; making the essay or story coherent, logical, and arresting, which means, attention-grabbing, so that the reader is encouraged to read to the end.

In the news-room at any daily newspaper, there are specialists doing this important function; they are called SUB-EDITORS or COPY-EDITORS. But on top of normal editing functions, some also advise the reporters on how to approach writing their stories or reports.

The copy for our study is as originally submitted by EAGLE WINGS, a schoolgirl from Sarawak who as won't of many writers, she just wants to be known by her nick. (Remember what this word stands for? Remember IgnorantCow and his teenagers blog? Remember Timothy Su?)

The topic selected for discussion is unusual; the subject is an ordinary tool found in many Malaysian homes, especially Chinese, but it appears in the SINGULAR! Normally, it works in the PLURAL. In a writer’s hand, the ordinary and mundane can be TRANSFORMED into something extraordinary, and entertaining. Eagle Wings’ original copy has been edited by Desiderata to show you how improvements can still be made, so read the second edition and compare and contrast with the first.


A CHOPSTICH


The invention of chopsticks has minimized the usage of hands to feed ourselves. With just two simple sticks, made from bamboo, wood or even stainless steel, the chopsticks had made a world of difference to mankind. But with a chopstick instead of having two chopsticks together, how can it function?
A chopstick works in a miraculous way beyond human’s expectation. It can be linked to violence; we can use a chopstick as a weapon. For instance, we can use it to poke the eyes or even use it as a tool to hit the pressure points of our attackers. Although a chopstick looks so useless, it comes in handy in times of danger. It is a simple but unique tool for self defense. So ladies, bring a chopstick wherever you go; a chopstick in hand, keeps the attackers away.
Traveling back to the past before the invention of any musical instrument, the Chinese had used the chopstick to make beautiful soothing music. With just a few bowls filled with different amount of water, and a chopstick to hit the bowls different keys could be heard. Even after the invention of other musical instruments, this way of creating music still exists because it symbolizes closeness to nature as the sound produced corresponds to the sounds of the tinkling of falling rain drops.
With the creativity of humans, chopsticks have been crafted in many ways. Therefore, a chopstick serves as a decoration in one’s house. On the other hand, if a chopstick is placed in a restaurant, it gives the public the general idea of indulging in a superb Chinese cuisine or other Asian cuisines that uses chopsticks. In the olden days, ladies had used a chopstick to coil their long hair in a bun. It was used like a modern day hair pin to bring out the beauty in a person.
Beside human, other creatures in the world also use a chopstick in their daily lives. For example, giants. In the world of giants, a chopstick is being used as a toothpick. Although the chopstick only plays a small part in the giants’ lives, it has served them well. However, the elves look at a chopstick as their walking stick. Entering the world of reality, little creatures like the ants find a chopstick very useful for their journey to transport food from a place to their nests especially when they need to cross a ‘river’. A chopstick can be a very reliable bridge for the pathway of the ants.
When a chopstick is given to somebody, there is more than what meets the eye. When lovebirds give each other a chopstick, it symbolizes that the two can never be apart. Since chopsticks can only work if two chopsticks are together, giving a chopstick means togetherness. One cannot be as useful as having a pair. One can represent his/her love by giving a chopstick to his/her partner as a symbol of eternal offering even if they are far apart or even when they are living in two different worlds. It is a thing they share in common that differs from other couples.
When a chopstick is given, the other chopstick is definitely kept by the giver. Hence, when the receiver and the giver are together, they can work wonders. A single chopstick indicates incompleteness and loneliness. Human cannot live alone but they need companion. When someone gives another person a chopstick, he/she offers friendship to the person. That someone is looking for a trustworthy friendship that will last. If you receive it from an anonymous giver, the sender wishes you to find the other chopstick; or in other words, your twin soul and your destiny.
Do not underestimate the power of a simple chopstick. It works wonders depending on how we see and appreciate it.



DESIDERATA’s edition follows next after this preface, with the changes indicated in BOLD.

PREFACE. An ENGLISH EDITOR is someone expected to have a strong command of the English language. His primary job to improve a student’s or trainee writer’s copy as much as possible, BUT with the least number of changes possible. As I said in my Introduction, the process of editing is a challenging one, and can NOT be tasked to any Tom, Dick and Harry; otherwise, the edited copy may end up worse than the original!

I’m sorry to report that I have had reporters who worked under my supervision complaining that their original copies had been “subbed” (in journalism language, this means sub-edited) into a lousier product. Sometimes, regrettably, I had to nod in agreement. So my work now comes under your scrutiny, and I pray I don’t disappoint. Please tell me, Esteemed Readers (especially Eagle Wings), if, REGRETTABLY OR SADLY, you think Desiderata is not up to the task, will you?

**************************interlude for sunday brunch here******************



A CHOPSTICK

The invention of chopsticks has minimised the usage of hands to feed ourselves. With just two simple sticks, made from bamboo, wood or even stainless steel, a pair of chopsticks has made a world of difference to mankind. But with just one chopstick instead of having two chopsticks together, how can it function?

A chopstick works in miraculous ways beyond human’s expectation. For a harmless looking piece of wood, it can be linked to violence; we can use a chopstick as a weapon. For instance, we can use it to poke the eyes or even use it as a tool to hit the pressure points of our attackers. Although a chopstick looks so useless, it comes in handy in times of danger. It is a simple but unique tool for self defence. So ladies, bring a chopstick wherever you go; a chopstick in hand (comma removed) keeps the attackers away.

Traveling back to the past before the invention of musical instruments, the Chinese had used the chopstick to make beautiful soothing music. With just a few bowls filled with different amount of water, and a chopstick to hit the bowls different keys could be heard. Even after the invention of other musical instruments, this way of creating music still exists because it symbolises closeness to nature as the sound produced corresponds to the sounds of the tinkling of falling rain-drops.

With the creativity of humans, chopsticks have been crafted in many ways. Therefore, a chopstick can serve as a decoration in one’s house. On the other hand, if a chopstick is placed in a restaurant, it gives the public the general idea of indulging in (particular “a” is removed) superb Chinese cuisine or other Asian cuisines that require the use of chopsticks.

In the olden days, ladies had used a chopstick to coil their long hair into a bun. It was used like a modern day hair-pin to bring out the beauty in a person.
Beside humans, other “creatures” in the world also use a chopstick in their daily lives. For example, giants. In the world of giants, a chopstick is being used as a “toothpick”. Although the chopstick only plays a small part in the giants’ lives, it has served them well. However, the elves look at a chopstick as their “walking stick”.

Entering the world of reality, little creatures like the ants find a chopstick very useful for their journey to transport food from a place to their nests, especially when they need to cross a ‘river’. A chopstick can be a very reliable bridge for the pathway of the ants.

When a chopstick is given to somebody, there is more than what meets the eye. When lovebirds give each other a chopstick, it symbolises that the two can never be apart. Since chopsticks can only work if two chopsticks are together, giving a chopstick means togetherness. One cannot be as useful as having a pair. One can represent his/her love by giving a chopstick to his/her partner as a symbol of eternal offering even if they are far apart or even when they are living in two different worlds. It is a thing they share in common that sets them apart (differs) from other couples.

When a chopstick is given, the other chopstick is definitely kept by the giver. Hence, when the receiver and the giver are together, they can work wonders. A single chopstick indicates incompleteness and loneliness. Humans cannot live alone -- they need companions. When someone gives another person a chopstick, he/she offers friendship to the person. That someone is looking for a trustworthy friendship that will last. If you receive it from an anonymous giver, the sender wishes you to find the other chopstick; or in other words, your twin soul and your destiny.
Do not underestimate the power of a simple chopstick. It can work (works) wonders, depending on how we see and appreciate it, and utilise it.



TEACHER’S COMMENTS

I have tried to minimise making changes to Eagle Wings’ copy; the obvious ones are denoted in BOLD to help you differentiate from the original. I hope I don’t need to elaborate on the rationale (reasons for an action) for those amendments. In some cases, I have indicated some removals as indicated in italics within parenthesis; also alternatives to words used by Eagle Wings which may raise some eyebrows (just a subtle upgrade maybe, it would be appreciated when you attain a finer grasp of the English language).

I would like to highlight her use of IDIOMS or IDIOMATIC EXPRESSIONS – as in “there is more than what meets the eye”, meaning “there is more meaning or implication when one looks closer at a certain object or subject”. Compare with Teacher’s use of “raise some eyebrows” in the preceding paragraph – it means “make some people wonder why”.

On the whole, I’d rate Eagle Wings’ effort an “A” from a scale of A to E, especially for originality and imagination, and some humourous vantage points, like the love-birds giving each other a stick! And mind you, I’m quite a demanding examiner; but I have a kind heart too, besides a discerning eye.

I would like to challenge other YoungReaders to send me your essays/ short stories for comments or possible use in this column. As a reward, I’m arranging to send to Eagle Wings an AUTOGRAPHED COPY of a romance novel by a Malaysian author, Catherine De Costa. An incentive enough?


EPILOGUE

Despite my rigourous editing, one "error", not a true HOWLER, but still an error, escaped my second or third reading before I sent it to the newspaper two days before the deadline. My challenge to the IgnorantCows reading this: Spot the "error", and postulate how Desiderata could have come about making the "mistake" (i.e., for that is, the RATIONALE), and post it up at the COMMENTS channel. But you must prove that you are a contributor/OR a particpant with at lease ONE contribution/OR COMMENT at http://ignorantcow.blogspot.com, CITING DATE OF POSTING, stating your name or nick.

The "best" argued answer received by end of coming MONDAY ie. at 2400 hours August 1, 2005 would be gifted with a signed copy of the romance novel by Catherine De Costa. Incentive enough?