A rojak serving on Satur-die

~First off an ingredient for today's ROJAK is an item up Desi's alley -- another mGf journo2! -- as we get our B&B scrummaging here (reminds me of a rugger term, but ne'er mind, you guys are into playing footsie...)

Saturday March 25, 2006

Eastern Times hits the stands
By SUHAINI AZNAM

PETALING JAYA: As the “new kid on the block,” Eastern Times being launched today will stand for many things. Produced as a junior broadsheet, it will be manned by almost an entirely new crew at its helm.
After a 44-day hiatus, Eastern Times will provide Sarawak readers with an alternative English newspaper. To readers, it is the “heir” to the 61-year-old Sarawak Tribune.
Much of the reporting and editorial support staff will remain the same.
Many Sarawakians expect the new newspaper to be closely associated to Chief Minister Tan Sri Abdul Taib Mahmud and to be friendly to his views.
When the Sarawak Tribune voluntarily stopped printing on Feb 9, it was said that Taib was left without an avenue to reach his English-speaking electorate.
Sarawak has two local English dailies, which also have a Bahasa sister newspaper each.
There are five Chinese dailies.

Despite Sarawak’s multi-lingual population, English remains the mark of the educated man.
The Eastern Times’ political colour depends largely on its incoming editor, James Ritchie.
Ritchie is an old Sarawak hand having gone to Kuching as a journalist for the New Straits Times in the 1980s and stayed on to write no less than 23 books on matters Sarawak, including several on Taib. He is also a regular contributor to The Star.

The new major shareholders of the paper are three Melanaus from Naim Cendera Holdings Bhd, a large developer with links to Taib.
But some Sarawakians also pointed out Sarawak Tribune’s own declining popularity, where its leaning towards Taib had allowed its rival The Borneo Post to outstrip its readership.
The Post is run by the KTS group from Sibu, a giant timber concern owned by Datuk Seri Lau Hui Ding.

The Eastern Times received its publishing licence only on March 2, and Ritchie now has the unenviable task of producing a newspaper within three weeks.
The date chosen for the launch is no coincidence. It marks Taib’s 25th year at the state’s helm.

DESIDERATA:

Being trained as a Journalist, any media hAPpenings of some import would enjoy a Desi's report. I was informed of a Ritchie's APpearance in town by a sister always In Touch (http://yancorner.blogspot.com from nigh Catsville way before The Star took the hint :( and it took the wrong trail to that F1 track.

Without an AP in hand, Desi could not file a first-person report on that gala non-event witch would cost thee a bomb (RM1,550-a-plate is a bomber, rite?) compared with my CON BF tomorrow (damage is about RM7.00 in Fu Rong...), where another Richie -- a lion or tiger or koolcat, or sumthin? -- was leading some privileged Malaysians in a song&dance lusting ALaL NIGHT LONG!

Being wella trained in reportage, Desi got on to yan expressing curiousity that won't kill a cat from B'g, B'd ...., posing the leading cue : "So do you think the Eastern Times would pose any competition to Borneo Post?"

Her cool, calm and confident reply:"Sap, sap sui!"
Translation by one UNtrained at the UN, understudy only to Nicole Kidman (Interpreter, ''member, anyone?)~~

"Chicken feed-lah!"
Or "Wet, wet smithereens!"
Or "In golfing terms, BPost has a handicap of aTiger in the woods, while the eSun has got a handycup of Teh-C in a clay-pot..."

I have received feedback that several of my EsteemedReaders -- esp newbies like seefei, who plays tennis but not golf, and helen "who had launched a thousand ships but not a single sheet..." I was tempted to use a four-letter word on Helen, but I don't want to transform her to a .....of desTROY! -- find Desi's language usage "queer". 4fei was direct saying he couldn't understand a single word I 'rote/wrathed/wrought,; Helen, being a fair lady, was more diplomatic (hey, did you do a stint at the French Embassy?) coining "Da Desi Code" (C) for desispeak.

Wella, I do admit Desi upon some days, is bonnie, bright, and gay.

Footnote: BTW, the news writer Suhaini is a lady, fe-mail, like Yan and helen and kyels - this is to "correct" several references in some bloggers' sites to Suhaini as a "he", like Desi and Howsy, which in journalese, is a HOWLER of the highest (lowest2?) order.

Butt be carefool, mGf Howsy: if you visit a certain doctor in Quake Street, next to Downing Street, lundun, for a quikkie, you might jest land up with bloated breasts and shrunk balls... and I might have to address thee as .... ne'er mind/e, I don't want to lose some fan/nies.

Sext~~

Beware of ‘doctors’ performing plastic surgery

KUALA LUMPUR: Beware of the so-called doctors who perform plastic surgery on your breasts. They could be injecting cooking oil into your body.

In some cases the damage caused by these quacks are so severe that when the patients seek professional help for damage control, it is too late.

Among the surgeries offered by these untrained surgeons are eyelid surgery, liposuction, and nose and breast augmentation.

The complications that patients could suffer from the sub-standard surgeries include severe infection, shifted implants, sinus discharge, sagging eyelids and eyes that could not shut.

Plastic surgeon Dr Kim K. Tan alleged that many non-doctors, in performing plastic surgery, are injecting silicone and different types of oil as well as other “funny” substances into their patients.

“Although these substances can enlarge one's breasts, there can be complications which will have long-term effects on the patients – as long as 20 years,” he said on the sidelines of the 8th annual scientific and general meeting of the Malaysian Association of Plastic, Aesthetic and Craniomaxillofacial Surgeons (MAPACS) yesterday.
Dr Tan is the organising chairman of the three-day conference that was opened by Deputy Health Minister Dr Abdul Latiff Ahmad.

“The patients will normally come to us when they feel pain and when their breasts become hard,” he said.


DESIDERATA: Item surger-ised at this point. Go pay RM1.20 to read it in fool! Despite the fuel price rise, I'm sure you can change a li'l lifestyle to steal invest on knowledge, man/me'm. Cut donw on thy cholesterol and raise thy cholesteron, or whatever -ronny that runs funnies through our blardy body by minus-ing the nazi lemak! This adVICE does not apply to Desi tho.
Yan, Helen2, kyels3: Who was it who first said that

"Woman, thy name is vanity!", and then ran away to do plastic surgery?

And finally, but not any less lustily

~~~
Besides the Oz, who I'm pretty fond of -- besides Nicole, there's Rachel Ward, Bee Gees and Seekers, New Seekers, Nu'e Seekers (coming!), and of course, there's sssssspirit inspiring Desi always, very few cuntries have that blardy sense of humour.

Desi has. Three sen's worth here.

WEB EDITION from theSUN, shining bright here and Down Under, not so in Can-ORcannot-ada:: International News

Have a beer on Australia? No thanks, says Canada

CANBERRA: First it was banned by Britain for its use of the word "bloody" and now Canada has vetoed a scene in a controversial Australian tourism campaign where a character lures visitors by saying "We've poured you a beer!"

Just days after Britain's television advertising regulator lifted its ban on the ad, which centres on the slightly risque phrase "bloody hell", Australian Tourism Minister Fran Bailey said Canadian regulators had now lost their sense of humour.

"Buying a mate a beer is about as Australian as you can get. But the Canadian regulator has banned the shot because implied unbranded alcohol consumption (a part-empty beer glass) is unacceptable," Bailey said in a statement.

While Canada doesn't appear to have a problem with the word "bloody", it has also prevented the ad from being broadcast during two family programmes because of the word "hell".

The ads begin with characters saying: "We've poured you a beer and we've had the camels shampooed, we've saved you a spot on the beach ... and we've got the sharks out of the pool". They end with a bikini-clad woman on a beach asking "so where the bloody hell are you?"

The furore over the British TV ban provided an unexpected windfall of free publicity for Tourism Australia, which said it had created "an on-line traffic jam" around the A$180 million ($129 million) campaign. Bailey hopes the "astonishing" Canadian decision to ban part of the ad would earn Australia more free publicity.

"What this decision shows is that Canada lags behind Americans, Brits and even Germans in the sense of humour stakes," Bailey said. The campaign is already running in the United States and New Zealand as well as Britain and will also target China, Japan, India and Germany. The full advertisement can be seen at http://www.sun2surf.com/www.wherethebloodyhellareyou.com. - Reuters

DESIDERATA: Explains part of Desi's predilection -- yeah, B'g, B'd words are aloud at D'Place! (and D' is not for Dirty!) -- for desispeak or Da Desi Code. Or DDCoke. Or DDCock, watever.

Let's have some humour/rumour going, rite, matey.
For tomorrow is another 24 for to-die

Malaysia and Australia, as I wrote in my maiden article promoting bilateral ties between my NegaraKu and a fond cuntry where I earned a lot of fun-d, or moola-lah!, are two blardy Lucky Countries. Laid back, fair dinkum, a land of thousand s-miles to be seen from miles away, I hope we do not lose IT!
Tourism Australia really knows how to get mileage with humour! The free reportage they receive for their AD is worth at least SE7EN times that from paid ADvertising. mGf yan is one of those marketeers whose sevrices Tourism Malaysia should seeek to obtain similar mileage from Malaysians' sen-se of rumour; maybe Desi will pitch to 'em for RM20million job eh?

I think they have some knottty Max Ehrrring mentees are working Down Under. Likely Toursin Malaysia will ask me the first Q at Da Pitch: Who's Max Errrr....ah?
Desiderata? Is that the nama of lust year's finalist at Malaysian Idolavatry3...ah?

Hell, A greAt part of IT is our sen-se of humour/rumour.

IT is many things to many people. My IT will be further defined tomorrow. Like in the movies -- sEXT CHANGE!

OtherWISE, with those half-human, half-animal mankeys doing the circus acts at Parlia-men?House, you would not have enough psychiatry wards in Malaysia to house normal, sane and healthy Malaysians like You and Me, or MeMe, or MiMi, yes? And that's definitely (no a or A, OK!) not a rhetorical Q, cos I'd like to 'ear from thee, Deer!