My Anthem

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Apple and Durian Polishing

Lust nite I had a terrible nightmare, and on waking up pretty early jest now, I pledged to meself that today's post -- beyond this first paragraph, shall contain no desispeak, because my therapist says "too much speaking in tongue" is injurious to both the Speaker's and Listeners' hell!


I engage in small talk with my EsteemedReaders, to make us comfortable, to live up to the reputation that Hakkas are very good guests, and therefore, even better hosts. (Under desipeak, I would have used hoRsts, but that's another story for mGf Yan to tell...)

Sometimes I also use "sweet" talk when I have a motive,like on allofhelen recently, when I wanted her to use her mui-mui influence on her A-Loud Gang based in Ipoh (see, no eeeehkayPOH reference, which may border on Da Desi Code, which is not aloud beyond the inaugural paragraph. However, "BIG" words like 'inaugural', which means "initial", are allowed.

Back to the nightmare.
To de-mare -- which means to get rid of the effects of last night's nightmare, a word I believe Scrabble-ers use intelligently to score! -- I welcomed Y&A yvonne foong, the solitary visitor to my sorry post in the still of the night -- with the usual tehtarik this bright morning. And we talked about some "queer" poetic leanings. (Go visit Comments!)

BTW, Y&A doesn't fall under Da Desi Code -- it's short for Young&Articulate, a corner I wish to pursue in one Borneo Post to promote great writing. I believe EXQUISITE also qualifies, which was what Desi promoted for close to one year at the Post on Sundays under desiderata.english.

I suffered exhaustion, so I took a short hiatus, which extended to a long one, living up to my name.

I felt good this morn following Health Minister Dr Chua Soi Lek's adVICE -- do some exercise everyday; so I started mine just now. A meaningful journey must always start with the first springy step, I rdecall some Chinese philosopher saying it. Frankly, had I been born about seven thousand years ago, they could also credit Desi for first saying IT.

So desi felt good stretching, and bending, and letting out hot air.
Whikle looking at the orangish-silvery sun directly and my eyes could stand De Light without blinking. The blinking refers to both De Sun and my two eyes. I mentioned "two" because some of my readers need to be educated to the fact that each of us is bequeathed with a "third" eye. I claim ignorance where it's located, but my doctor friend who deserted me by migrating to Alice Springs said it's likely to be at the back of one's head. Test: press and press until you sense that you have touched the "most sensitive" part -- that's IT!

The third eye gives you that sensitivity to detect Danger, hence the special sensitivity. I think those two guys at THE X-FILE have IT. The truth is out there somewhere ...

mGf in lundun caals himself sensitrovert -- he explains it as a combo of "sensitive" + "introvert" because I once guessed it might be perceived as sensitive + "pervert".

It can't be "subvert" because this is a VERB, while "sensitive" is an adjective.

Back from digression -- which is this blardy Blogger's luxury, and like slight swaering, does not breach the Da Dsei Code rule this morn -- to the nightmare.

I think I know the reasons which caused the nightmare, which is a rare occasion. I always enjoy sweet -- not wet okay! -- dreams. Like making to Hollywood by 2010. Joining fishtail freeing ourselves from being tied to the poles at sin-harbour at 4PM when the Super Virgo slides out of view and both of us are on board!
Other more private approximate encounters with Paradise are best left for oral rendering, so that any miscalls won't and can't be used as evidence against the StoryTaeler. (I have defined 'taeler' in yesterday's Hollywood Quest post, so it's not desispeak.)


* I harangued sister Helen

* I was very combative in visiting other Bloggers' abodes

* I fell back on my work, leaving it to the last second when it was supposed to be the last 30 minutes. Yes, I said I am not modest when it comes to being proud of My English language mastery. I can deliver 1,000 words in 30 minutes. If any ER wishes to test me, Be Prepared like a Scout -- Desi was one once, Second Class! -- with a RM1million ang-pau. If I get 20 suckers -- as it's said One is born in this world every minutte -- my mission is then accomplished. HINT: OUR I-LAND quest.

Regarding Helen, I hounded her like a Dog -- I was not born in that year, but 2006 is one -- let me make IT clear here, the 'dog' refers to Desi, NOT Helen! -- and I hereby tender my tenderest APology for my MISbehaviour.
Ever so kind, she obliged with a Post on my Hollywood Quest, but wondered aloud about my funny poem dedicated to ALLOFTHEE.
I thanked her a million.
I commented she's now a lion. Lion rhymes with million.
PS: I also said something olde, sumthin' nu'e like:

A poem needs proper stanza
OtherVice, where got bonanza?
Din and dine on the Super Virgo
It's not that Impossible Dream
If flight of beauty from helenALLOFTHEE
Could launch a thousand ships
Hollywood script is jest words and whips

Like eating ice-cream.
(THis last line is just added to end the reprise-lah;
using what is termed POETIC LICENCE,
so that
"ice-cream" can rhyme with "Dream", yes!

I hear seefei whispering:
Desi has been yarning for quarter-an-hour and where's the Apple?

Don't you get IT?
I have been demonstrating what Apple-Polishing at work IS!
Desi polishes some apples, and just after one basket, he's delighted with
"durian runtuh".
the durian are beginning to fall.
(NOTE: When anglicising a Bahasa Malaysia word, don't add an "s" -- durians -- for the PLURAL FORM, sounds so jarring. Withdraw 'jarring' -- sounds so awful. Under desispeak which is not allowed, I would have said: awefool.:)

It's not the end of the durian runtuh though, but that's for another day -- while 4fei and our mui mui PONDER OVER THAT OFFER OF THE 15 MINUTES OF MEDIA FAME!

*About that "combative" call, I have to pay respects to my sifu, jeffooi, so extracting the following conversation snatches from screenshots yesterday:

"Kalimullah Hassan submit his essay to English teacher, he will get a "F" for talking nonsense without facts.

However, he will get a "A" from a political studies, on "shameless example of politikus apple polishing".

Posted by: moo_t | March 27, 2006 10:38 AM

Desiderata's 'combative' speak follows, typos, warts and gems &et all,just as I do at my own place in CONversations:

"moo_t: 100% agrement with thee.

Throughout the peice, it was using Ling to upgrade Pak Lah's standing and status...
that's NOT journalistic writing;
it's biographic durian polishing

Apple, oo_t, is already smooth and shiny; it's rough fruits with thorns one realy needs to chop&polish.
Did I recall another word: Hatchet jobbing?

You think Ling was that Good Man?
Recollect he had arrnged for Ling Jr to obtain RM1.2billion to take over several listed companies. The companies were listing, then got de-listed!
Same son is now waiting in the wiongs -- as MCA Youth no. 2-- to join Pak Lah's iKabinet!
I'll say a prayer tionight of the man's Eat, drink and Be Merry policy well self-guarded by a good son.
Maybe another Kali will do a similar piece of Ling Jr when he's FoolMnister?
Hatchet job anyone? The paycheque could be gooder than good!

Posted by: desiderata | March 27, 2006 12:48 PM

I normally would have stopped at about 1,000 words -- equivalent to 15 X 2 minutes of blogospheric fame, but this morning I'm blogging long-er as my THERAPIST -- note the spelling, it's NOT theraphist, as Howsy reminded his ER a few days ago when pointing out the spelling error by one news agency, and pulling Desi unnecessarily into the controversy -- says it's good for my health. Writing, or rite-ing, or writHing, is good for one's health, as they represent mental, cultural and physical exercises, respectively.

Now I'm into the Durian-Polishing embellishment tale.

Desi takes a break, can? For the news inter:lude.
Will be back after break-fast, around 11.00AM ...

Now see if you can discern any connection with the Durian story of survival with the currenty goings-on in Sarawak, where an Eastern Sun has just risen -- and soon it will be that MAD SEASON AGAIN.

State Elections.

Dear ER, Wait patiently for LAST as BreAkFast Dessert is
A Poem DedicAted to Sarawak Tribune Journalists
Blogger friends in the State where I always arsk one Oz-returnee blogger
Y&A always surropunded by dames who want to look at his balls
he'rsay of the size of DURIANS or COCO-nuts!:


Meanwhile, for some delightful aside, let's adjourn to OUR I-LAND akin to the blockbustier THE ISLAND, I hope my ER remember this is -- about a human clone colony where the inhabitants everyday try their luck at a lottery draw? The winners are then given a Dreanm Holiday supposed to enjoy at THE IDYLLIC ISLAND -- akin to Desi&G++ adventure on board the Super Virgo on the SE7EN SEAS.

But the TRUTH out there is they are clones who are being sent to the slaughter house -- where their "human" parts are harvested for use by their "masters/mistresses" who have ordered their birth as subsititute clones to expand and extend the live-spans of the humans...

It was reported at one blogger's site during the December tsunami disaster, one country's LEADERS WERE STRANDED ON AN ISLAND< and they were rounded up by the natives headed by huge, gigantic, humougous man-like creature named ADA VERMIN. Does the nama ring a bell?

The four leaders -- each representing the sizeable ethnic groups of their country which was completely wiped out but the four survived because they took the only ship available -- wre told they might survive if they excelled in a test. The Fruit Test.

One by one the leaders were to go hunt in the jungle and return with five units of any fruit they think would appeace or please ADA VERMIN.

Number 4, representing the smallest ethnic ciommunity, was sent off first. He came back from the jungle with some red berries the size of kacang putih which were shown to the native head alone.
Number 4 was escorted into a cell, and there was a smile on his face when he emerged five minutes later. He performed well in the test.

The second leader was apprehensive when he went into the jungle, wondering if he should pick a big or small fruit. To play safe, he selected a medium sized fruit, like our rambutan. He also survived though he spent twice the time -- 10 minutes, in the cell, and the smile on his face was less jubilant.

Leader 3 was then sent off on his mission. Shaking his head again and again, he settled on some ripe mangoes.
His meeting with Ada Vermin in the cell lasted longer -- 20 minutes, and there was a small scream audible by the sole comrade waiting anxiously his turn. The third leader was led looking a little beaten -- yet thankful he was still alive -- to join the other triumphant two.

Finally it came the tunr of Taiko who served as Prime Monster for two decades, and what the citizens could do to persuade him to step down, the Gods intervened in the form of the Tsunami. The Rakyat did not survive to tell this story. The blogger found out after interviewing Ada Vermin just before the I-LAND's STATED ERECTIONS where the man with the longest lasting cock-stand became Head. Of course ADA VERMIN won all the time as his fellow citizens were dwarded down there although they were pretty great UP THERE. Which doesn't count.

So the Number 1 set off confidently into the jungle.
"I must take care of his balls, and give him the best fruit we know -- The King Of Fruits."

He thus came back with five durians and was walked to the cell.

There were screams heard throughout the I-LAND
as ADA VERMIN shuffed the durian, one by one, into Number 1's hole

The four rounds of


lasted an hour,45 minues, 59 seconds -- still countING ...
One more round to go -- the 5th durian, remember?


So meanwhile, Ah, the local news item follows~~~~~~~~

Parties pledge all-round support for Taib's continued leadership

KUCHING: Political parties under the Barisan Nasional (BN) yesterday pledged their support and loyalty to Chief Minister Pehin Sri Abdul Taib Mahmud, calling on him to continue to spearhead Sarawak for many more years to come.

Parti Pesaka Bumiputera Bersatu Sarawak (PBB) deputy president Datuk Patinggi Tan Sri Alfred Jabu said Taib's leadership quality was so outstanding that he wished he could "clone Taib for posterity".

"We'll work very hard for the coming state election so that we'll not fail your vision for the State and the people," he said at a thanksgiving dinner held to mark Taib's silver anniversary as the chief minister at the State Legislative Assembly banquet hall here.

The BN component parties, comprising PBB, Sarawak United People's Party (SUPP), Sarawak Progressive Democratic Party (SPDP) and Parti Rakyat Sarawak (PRS), jointly organised the anniversary bash.

Jabu who is Deputy Chief Minister described Taib as the State's development architect for having transformed Sarawak from one of the undeveloped states in Malaysia into the top three most developed in 25 years.

He said he was confident that Taib had every Sarawakian's support because they knew that the Chief Minister was sincere in serving them.

"They've seen your achievement with their own eyes," he said, adding that there were only a small number of individuals whom he termed as "political tourists consisting of political rejects" as they only appeared during election time.

SUPP president and Deputy Chief Minister Datuk Patinggi Tan Sri Dr George Chan, meanwhile, said the party had never wavered from its staunch support for Taib.

"YAP Pehin Sri can be rest assured that when the chips are down, SUPP will be there," he said, stressing, "SUPP will always work very closely with all the BN component parties and is ever willing to do all it can to ensure that Sarawakians continue to live in unity, peace and happiness."

Dr Chan said Taib had always been very fair to all races in the State, placing strong emphasis on racial unity and harmony to ensure that peace would always prevail.

"It is his virtue in advocating a just and fair society that makes him the longest serving chief minister in this country," he pointed out.

With the state election drawing near, Dr Chan called on the people to reject opposition parties, saying that Peninsular-based opposition parties such as Parti Keadilan Rakyat and Democratic Action Party were out to introduce to Sarawak negative, destructive and provocative brand of politics which were unhealthy and detrimental to the State and its people.

Joining in the chorus of support for Taib, PRS president Dato Sri Dr James J Masing said Taib had brought unprecedented development, peace, stability and racial harmony second to none.

He said other states used to view Sarawak as a place full of jungles and animals, headhunters and even cannibals, a misperception that had changed "thanks to Taib's commitment in heightening the pace of development".

"Today we can hold our heads high as we walk among Malaysians," he said, adding, "PRS supports your leadership for many more years to come and we wish you the best of health."

Meanwhile, SPDP president Datuk William Mawan Ikom said leaders in the State looked up to Taib as a great leader, mentor, political father and friend whom they could always count on in good and bad times.

He pointed out that Taib's plural leadership and teamwork were hallmarks which had strengthened understanding and cooperation among leaders and members of the ruling coalition.

"To many of us, sir, you are a great friend indeed," he said, adding that Taib had guided and leaders of SPDP to become leaders with the courage and confidence ever ready to tread the path he had laid before them.

"Members of SPDP look forward to Pehin Sri's continued leadership," he added.


Fools rush in where Angels like mGf dare not roam
And All Good Men never want to contest
Because there is just one party-one voice-one room
If you don't apple polish, you're under arrest

There are some Bloggers who like to dsiturb the hornets' nest
Shuffling the durian up Where The Sun Don't Shine
But don't write too much as it's best
This State is mine, the estate is mine

And hey Rakyat: thy mind is also mine!


After another combative round, I am scared of going to bed tonight.
I don't know if Miss Nightmare will visit again.
You know the answer if Desi does not Post tomorrow, Right?
And that's a rhetiorical question!

"Chow!" :):):)~~~~~~~:):):):)


See Fei said...

hahaha where is the apple?

desiderata said...

wah, seefei, you are sooooo early!
the early bird may get STONE-d!
In sarawak they serve dadah, dada and also they head-HUNT! Is your kepala, or kelapa, as BIG as kennysia's?
otherVICE, you may not survive Da Test!:(

desiderata said...

PS: Go get the APples from allofhelen -- see that brigitte, not frigid:) -- jiejie, lin chin-hsia's?

PPS: mui-mui's one pls don't peep. Diaries only!

sabrina said...

hey desi

sorry, i got lost along the way.

anyway just to announce that my blog kena bugged, so apologies to the regular readers out there.
will post further details soon :)

howsy said...

Desi, what is Chow? Chow Mein?

The correct word for 'bye' is 'Ciao' which is actually a word in Italian.

Gosh, I was an English and French word-correcter; now I'm an Italian one now!

desiderata said...


you followed the IMPish trail
Besides MIA for some 2 months
now you LOST thy way, dang!
I'm sad, frens, pls note
Sabrina's Place has been bugged
Pls go give her many hugged!

PS: Theoretical grammar says 'hugged" is not a noun
I was desperate to get at least
One word to rhyme with 'bugged'
otherWISE, it's so silly
Cl;aiming it's a pome, or even worse
How can Desi just break a fun=damental rule?
Aioyah, Poetic Licence
Desispeak, watever, I didn't pledge
This doesn't hAPpen in CONverse.

PPS: If Desi doesn't make sense, blAme it on Y&A Sabrina
Diverting desi into LOTR landscape
She herself is LOST, how can I escape?

desiderata said...


I am Malaysian, writer summore
and I have used Chow!
Rightly to mean "Bye, See you!"


"Eat" your meal softly and gently, Don't swallow -- it may be Brit or french,
But so unMalaysian, not UN-manly.

See Fei said...

talk abt kennysia...he is the one that got me started blogging by reading....u started me thinking with your desispeak...

tahi!! lost again...blur city kangaroo

desiderata said...

see fei:

Thanks for 2D promo of my HollyCow Quest ...oops, Hollywood!:)

Kenny started you in Blogging,
Be very carefool -- you two nuts will expand one, can be very embarassing UNLESS you are an introvert like Howsy, another IpohLang.

I know you're now in sin-land, but the wya you get on with mui-mui, art thou eeeehkayPOHLang ORI?

fishtail said...

"To de-mare - which means to get rid of the nightmare." Someone clobbered me soundly on scrabbles last month by playing the 8-letter word 'denuding' (from 'de-nude') and scoring a triple-triple!

Twisted Heels said...

First time I thoroughly got through without hallucinations of Desispiak!

Exercise is good for health. Hope you're good as your scout days fizzycally!

desiderata said...


Can you tell me in cuntfidence why men would want Ursula undressed to cover up? That's like jumping from Playgirl to serving the Vatican, rite?

Holycow, I think I jest commited a sin of blastanatmoy.
Will Desi get to see Paradise?
I know fishtail, you've found the pilgrimage on Super Virgo close to third heaven. ENJOY, but nop orgasmic hi, COS I noticed you are like Desi, a chic' steak eater, not organic food connosieur.
Dunno if sperring is rite CIOS you're the seetru ScrabbleSexpert:)

desiderata said...

hi twisted heels:

You are pretty&forward.
Is that a coNpliment?
OR backhanded strike, learnt from that Queen, Nicole, not Kidman, our very own David!
(beats many Goliaths-wannabe at RUMAHSAKITsikitParlimen...

T. Heels: wonder if this round of DDCode gotchas!?:(

Fashionasia said...

reading the desi code alwaysss gives me a headache. Where is my milidon.

desiderata said...

my long "MIA" fashionistA!

Where have you been
With Jimmy Choo in lundun serving the Queen?
DesiSpiak gifting thee with headache
Oh, no -- a thousand APologies
But I made re-dress Yesterday, did not I?
"milidon"? Now it is Desi's turn to arsk:
"What's that, and WHY?"

Twisted Heels said...

:) What do you think?

My backhand terribly bad in badminton tho I am up for a competition later today, heh.

DDCode got me? Partially!

fashionasia - Isn't Milidon withdrawn from the market d? It contains phenylpropanolamine which increases risk of stroke; I think 3 times more in women than men.

Take panadol; your safest bet. Best of all, try alternative remedies like a walk in the park or de-stress at a spa.

desiderata said...


badminton -- csome chicky men ghhere always MISSpronounce this game, hoping the femailer gets the hint. Cheapskating off course.

DDCode -- Da Desi Code, and the kopirite belongs to your jiejie Helen, my mui-mui, and this order chilvary must be maintained at all costs.

Thanks fro edu thios Ignoramus about milidon; panadol I no, take occasionally when migraine strikes -- kopi, hard not watery1, deadline nears.

Thanks T. heels, be carrefour when retrieving that shoRt! Don wanna do too much chubby checker with those hels!:)

Hey, pls visit
spin more yarn there! Rite up your elie/ally/alley ...becoming too cuntfused with too mush pray-pray, and I'm net even related to PCK aka ..... Singh!