THE I-LAND

A Fantasy Post
Dedicated to my
Innumerable fans!


I met up with my fan-Yan (reciprocated here with a:)) last night – she came all The SailWay from KennySia’s birthplace, and I flew all My Way from Furong JieJie’s birthplace, and we were both hosted by Subang Jaya part-owner J.Vong and significant other, Ean.

We met at the Big Vale Hawk Centre so that we could feel the socialist air, soaring high with Eagle’s wings. And not at that rarefied atmosphere at the Citido&tel Hotel café (where Yan has temporary abode because she’s on AOL from The Island).

Today I-m I-nspired to tell I-story –- please Steven Spielberg, read this from the Beginning, and maybe I can return to the Cineplex next door to see The Movie of the Year on the big screen based on my story next Christmas, when I don’t have to compete with LOTR or HP sequels because they have reached the climaxes already.

Oh, just to put the record straight. How or why am I shooting off at a tangent this morning – two main reasons. Yan had asked me why I did not install a Readers’ Meter on my Weblog. I told her she’s my senior by a month, and yes, I have sighted a counter at http://yancorner.blogspot.com, but I guess I'm (or my numbers are) shyer. I answered that if I followed in her footstep intalling that meter, I might turn first pinkish, then Indian red, and finally lobster red. The readings will of course start with One (hey, my guess, the guest from Sarawak where people still headhunt, and I’m targeted!). Then it moves to Two, maybe my fav Guest Blogger Sab may say hello; then brudder Imran may make it Three, he wants entertainment for free; kyels my latest mentee adds onemore, ah, I’ve arrived at Four; and Moses chipping in to make it Five (yeh, Desi's Place is still alive; then GINGER makes in at Six, and I'm all-abliss; AND sssssspirit from Down Under makes it SEVEN, and I’m up in heaven.


Then there is complete S-i-l-e-n-c-e. Even the actors from the PWTC within would then be welcome guests to my haven.

MALU-lah, Yan – it stops at SEVEN, although it’s my fav number!


Alright, the meter starts clicking again after a weeklong break. Most of us just need one or at most two days leave, AOL, or AWOL, but this darn’d hardworking meter works in cycles of sevens.

So it picks up steam – wallah, after four months and 20 days (Correction: 25 days, see my arithmetic is awesum!), still anticipating, Desiderata2000 hits 7SEVEN!

Yan wants to verify my claim (she’s something like the TopDog of Audit Bureau of Bloggers Circulations) – I give her a piece of paper, her face lights up … yes, it’s true, indeed. SEVEN to the power of 7!

And the meter “bloke” (my English "affected" by the Aussie tale from Sheila yesterday, which attracted some spirited comment which I dare not reply to even now … I spied it last nite, sssssspirit.) down on me. So just not to take away JeffOoi’s title of Malaysian Buggers Sifu, Desi will still stay away from that skewed meter for a l-o-n-g time nYET.

Now myGoODfriends the IgnorantCowws are asking why am I writing one-line paragraphs after the l-o-n-g INTRO of substantial&substantive paras – i.e. for paragraphs, for the less intelligent but not insignificant ones!

My answer lies in my endeavour to attract Steven Spielberg, remember? (Of course, this is a HIStorical question.)

Film scripts have to be in one-liners, the most two. Three is still ex-ceptable. Four is fatal, unless thy art a femme fatale.

So what’s that title THE I-LAND all about?


Okay, I have tested my readers’ patience long enough, this is not a hospital – ‘tis supposed to be hospital-felic-ity remember? (No, this is NOT a rhetorical question, ‘tis directed at Desi, I-self.)

Please turn to page 12 of theSUN August 10, 2005 – to make a tall story short – headline summarises:


Terengganu island for sale

Desi’s mind goes straight into

• Treasure Island – yo ho ho! and a bottle of rum!
and a Lone-eyed 1-leg’ed pirate whose name Desi can’t remember
• Robinson Crusoe – cruising with galFRIDAY wishing they’ll ne’er be found on a tropical isle
• Island In the Sun – murder most foul and yet the sun is shining all the time on the idyllic eye-land



Then the commercial and down to earth ones -- the islands, I mean:

• Pulau Pinang – PearlOfTheOrient where I found many oriental-looking men who still sing Rose, Rose I Luv You! And the dames still frying my fav ChowKwayTeow. And the Gals are still throwing oranges once a year at Gurney’s Drive, at the ne’er grow up Boys.
• The Island – making big bucks on the Box Office selling off my organs, your organs to the AP-Kings
• Pulau Jerejak – where great minds think, but the minders are A-shore at PutraJaya.


Back to theSUNNY report:

TERENGGANU: Want to own your own island? Gem Wellness Spa & Island Resort, a private island with a boutique resort, is up for sale by open tender. The indicative value? RM20million. The 8.5-acre island, which is owned and operated by the Gem Island Resort Sdn Bhd, is a leasehold property with about 66 years left. The owner is a Malaysian involved in the oil and gas industry.

Previndran Singhe (pix), chief executive of Zerin Properties, which is handling the sale. Said there have been enquiries from several intetested parties for details about the island. “As you are aware, there are very, very few private islands for sale in the market, especially pristine untouched properties. This is truly a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity. “


Desiderata is interested.

He wants an island to call his own, hence THE I-LAND ©

But he’s not an AP-King

He’s also not THE APPRENTICE’s BOSS.

And he’s not from Nigeria.

Okay, Desi is a Chinaman. "Sowat?" -- most likely would be Zerin Properties marketing executive’s auto-reply.


So this story-lah, if you Esteemed Readers would bear with me, care with me, and dare with me.

My Master&Mistress&Miss&Beaut&NicePlan:


All of us will have a stake in The I-Land.

The next PPS Anniversary Bash (Aiz: are reading this?) will be held on The I-land. TEH-tarik will be free-flowing for teetotalers like Desi, Thee and Thee, under the teh-tariKing’s Haridas supervising. For people like Sab and sweetspirit, we’ll have an A&W franchise to supply free-flowing rut beer.

For those who live on sunshine and air and the surf alone, ah, the 8.5-acre island is the GEM – sunshine 24/7, the air is free, and the surfing, bring your own wireless PC! Don’t bring any more Lapdogs (this applies especially to proposer Desi, and kyels, whose ‘dog’ is a mite ‘sick’ lately, I hear) -- they who lick and flick are a-plenty on The I-land,I assure thee; otherWISE, how to survive, yes?

So, where was I? Yes, on THE I-LAND.


Yes, if Spielberg should be reading this, please carry on.

The I-land shall practise the following FIVE COMMANDMENTS:

• Freedom under the Sun,
• Freedom from Hunger,
• Freedom from Ignorance,
• Freedom from Want,
• Freedom from Censorship.


Then all the Bloggers – the YoungOnes, the YoungerOnes&VeteranOnes, the IgnorantCowws and TopDogs, the Polite&ImpoliteOnes (this category stems from a Mack's comment that Desi is known for politie language -- ;) salute thee as a compliment/complement to the ImpoliteOnes! -- – no censorship, remember? – shall be offered PERMANENT RESIDENCE there one weekend a year to celebrate PPS ANNIVERSARY BASH, starting with the THIRDOne next June, 2006. Mark this on your calendar, with Aiz’ implicit permission.


NOTE particularly the fourth by-law listed above says FREEDOM FROM WANT. This assurance is given to the Olivers, Olivias and Olivettis (in between the two main genders – no discrimination, remember) out there.

ASK, AND THOU SHALL BE GIVEN. Yes, you can ask for more!

How wonderful.

I “adapted” one idea from The Box-Office blockbusteee, The Island, now showing at the cinematheque nearest you. I won’t mind paying some royalty/loyalty if Steven (first-name basis already, we’ve become ‘closer’ after several rounds of waving hands;) -- If you are bogged down with work and can’t personally join the Bash, please send your other image – CLONE-lah! Why so dim sum-one? Further more, we can do with less sex on THE I-LAND, ken-or-not?


WHAT U MUST DO:

I have just opened a savings account at MadDay Bank account number: 7777777.
If all of you Rakyat – cool 24 millions – just deposit one just Ring-git, I can straight away book OUR I-LAND ©

PLEDGES CAN BE MADE BY YOU CLICKING ONLY ONCE VIA MY COMMENTS CHANNEL -- Yan, see, if all 24 million surfers click once on thier mouse on Desiderata2000 COMMENTS, can the gifgure under your audit be wrong? SEVEN to the power of 7! Do the maths ... not close to 24 million? Add one some dou-triple clicks, you know sum Malaysians, the itchy/ bitchy fingers ...

YOUR REWARD? Every CONtributor will have free access to THE I-LAND for a week annually. To avoid congestion, if too many apply over a certain period like Hari Raya, CNY and Deepavali, and Harvest Festivals -- Desi will conduct a LOTTERY (like they do in The Island ...I hear h j angus w'ispering 'this against Malaysian law!'...)

The GEM people want a 10-percent down payment, so please respond quickly so that those AP-KINGS won’t rob us of our hAPpyness to have an island in the sun, where the buffalo roam, and the dears, and the antilope play. And NOBODY, Yes, NOBOD EVER SAYS ANY DISCOURAGING WORD, OK!

If every patriotic Malaysian commits with just RM1, Desiderata’s simple arithmetic says he would have a surplus of RM3million. (RM24million – RM20 million = RM3 million (plus RM1 million is my CON-mission!)

SELAMAT DATANG to HapPINESS on
My Fantasy Island
Your Fantasy Island
OUR I-LAND