By SABRINA TAN
These days I have been challenged by the issue of faith.
Two years ago I was the leader of a Christian Fellowship.
I was very proud to be a follower of God. Still am, but somehow the fire and passion have seemed to wane.
Not sure what caused it, but I guess I am still finding my way on the spiritual path.
People asked me if I still go to church.
Well, to be honest, nope.
Not sure why, but just not ready to face the church yet.
I still pray and talk to God, yet somehow something in me is just not ready to face Him and praise Him.
Yes, He's an awesome God.
He has been with me and still with me.
Somehow I guess I am just not ready yet.
I am not cutting off my relationship with Him, yet I am not ready to be all 'praisey', if there is such a word...
I can't help but keep glancing at this piece of 'lecture notes' that stuck onto my wall when I was actively involved in my Christian Fellowship.
Simplicity and Solitude
Settle yourself in solitude and you will come upon Him in yourself. -- Teresa of Avila
Loneliness is inner emptiness, Solitude is inner fulfillment.
It is in solitude that I find the affection with which I can love my brothers. The more solitude I have, the more affection I have for them. It is solitude that teaches me to love my brothers for what they are, not what they say. -- Thomas Merton
Yes, I love being in solitude.
I do not want to be an anti-social, but I find that I can find answers more when I am in solitude.
God speaks to me in silence, and I have to be still and silent to hear Him more clearly.
I have never been a follower that has much faith in Him.
I have always been skeptical.
People would always say:"God is with you! Do not despair!"
In my heart, I would go yea right...
Over and over again, when something happens I do not know where God is at that moment.
Perhaps I was just pushing Him away.
He is just right there.
He will teach me what to do, and miracles will happen ...(?)
Have yet to see the latter, but I am sure something would make me change my mind.
Like how He led Moses to get the Hebrews out of Egypt.
That was amazing.
I would like to experience that someday. At least I know that someone is with me on board. I know that He would be there working in my life, and I won't need to feel so afraid.
Sometimes it's very intimidating to travel alone. You are so scared of what would happen and you wouldn't know how to handle it.
However I am truly amazed with myself so far that I was able to overcome each obstacle. It was His grace and His power.
So now I have to slowly get myself back to the path of faith...
DESIDERATA: Since I started this poetic Blog, I have the humbling experience that one can learn much from a wide range of people, of all ages. Especially the YoungerOnes -- because they give us HOPE. I enjoy conversations. So if my Comments contain some flippant asides, it is because Life is to be Relished. We must ENJOY our Guests' company just as the Guests may reciprocate the Host's hospital-felicity.
Sabrina Tan has been a reliable GUEST BLOGGER at Desi's Place -- and it relieves me sometimes of the need to put on the Thinking Cap; hence this definition of 'reliability' is a "selfish" one. But with many thanks, again, Saturday August 6 is one of such "luxury" days I welcome thee to join in some sweet, leisurely contemplation. Sabrina fulfills.