By SABRINA TAN
These days I have been challenged by the issue of faith.
Two years ago I was the leader of a Christian Fellowship.
I was very proud to be a follower of God. Still am, but somehow the fire and passion have seemed to wane.
Not sure what caused it, but I guess I am still finding my way on the spiritual path.
People asked me if I still go to church.
Well, to be honest, nope.
Not sure why, but just not ready to face the church yet.
I still pray and talk to God, yet somehow something in me is just not ready to face Him and praise Him.
Yes, He's an awesome God.
He has been with me and still with me.
Somehow I guess I am just not ready yet.
I am not cutting off my relationship with Him, yet I am not ready to be all 'praisey', if there is such a word...
I can't help but keep glancing at this piece of 'lecture notes' that stuck onto my wall when I was actively involved in my Christian Fellowship.
Simplicity and Solitude
Settle yourself in solitude and you will come upon Him in yourself. -- Teresa of Avila
Loneliness is inner emptiness, Solitude is inner fulfillment.
It is in solitude that I find the affection with which I can love my brothers. The more solitude I have, the more affection I have for them. It is solitude that teaches me to love my brothers for what they are, not what they say. -- Thomas Merton
Yes, I love being in solitude.
I do not want to be an anti-social, but I find that I can find answers more when I am in solitude.
God speaks to me in silence, and I have to be still and silent to hear Him more clearly.
I have never been a follower that has much faith in Him.
I have always been skeptical.
People would always say:"God is with you! Do not despair!"
In my heart, I would go yea right...
Over and over again, when something happens I do not know where God is at that moment.
Perhaps I was just pushing Him away.
He is just right there.
He will teach me what to do, and miracles will happen ...(?)
Have yet to see the latter, but I am sure something would make me change my mind.
Like how He led Moses to get the Hebrews out of Egypt.
That was amazing.
I would like to experience that someday. At least I know that someone is with me on board. I know that He would be there working in my life, and I won't need to feel so afraid.
Sometimes it's very intimidating to travel alone. You are so scared of what would happen and you wouldn't know how to handle it.
However I am truly amazed with myself so far that I was able to overcome each obstacle. It was His grace and His power.
So now I have to slowly get myself back to the path of faith...
Faith really...
DESIDERATA: Since I started this poetic Blog, I have the humbling experience that one can learn much from a wide range of people, of all ages. Especially the YoungerOnes -- because they give us HOPE. I enjoy conversations. So if my Comments contain some flippant asides, it is because Life is to be Relished. We must ENJOY our Guests' company just as the Guests may reciprocate the Host's hospital-felicity.
Sabrina Tan has been a reliable GUEST BLOGGER at Desi's Place -- and it relieves me sometimes of the need to put on the Thinking Cap; hence this definition of 'reliability' is a "selfish" one. But with many thanks, again, Saturday August 6 is one of such "luxury" days I welcome thee to join in some sweet, leisurely contemplation. Sabrina fulfills.
6 comments:
And Anon, where do I fit thee in -- just a tame reminder, this is not the SaturdayMart; just a fRiendly abode to share and care; well, an aisde or2 is alright, just don't do it 2of10, o'rite? (That's another Rhetorical Q, quite of10 abused by this host!) Sometimes, my "pronunciation" slips. esp on a sleepy Saturday morn, I almost said 'horse' ... ah I digress, nut that's another Blogger's 'privileged abuse' by this horse down here. I HOPE this fever doesn't spread, ah there I go again, impress!
God’ is within creation, within physical matter, and that ‘He’ does not simply operate as some cosmic director on the outside of reality. You must understand that the spiritual self also exists within the physical self in the same fashion. The inner self is mot remote either, not divorced from your most intimate desires and affairs, but instead communicates through your own smallest gesture....
There is God dwelling within you
You each have the same energy and it sings within your being. You need not be shy of it. It is your own! You need not look to gurus, or gods. It dwells within you!
There is no need to listen to his voices but to the voices of your own being.
There is spirituality within your tissues. Physical existence is sacred and good. There is nothing wrong with it. Atoms and molecules, they are holy. Your consciousness is holy, and so is your little toe.
You can aspire--you must aspire for that is within you. But All That Is is now within you.
What so many want is a God Who walks down the street and says, "Happy Sunday, I am I, follow Me. But God is hidden craftily in His creations so that He is what they are, and they are what He is; and in knowing them, you know Him."
God is always more than All That Is, is the sum that you cannot find--and for my definition of God, I therefore leave you with that one:
For God is the sum that you cannot find, that resides within you, that is more than anything you can discover, that is His creations and yet more than that which is created, within Whom infinities rest.
What is so extraordinary is that even a living Buddha, Master Ching Hai (Taiwan) also found out that in the Bible, it says
“Know you not that you are the temple of God and Almighty God dwells within you” And this tallies with her teachings.
You ARE the power of God manifested. You are not powerLESS. To the contrary, through your being the power of God is strengthened, for YOU ARE a portion of what He is.
Sabrina:
Since you're the OnePlayingHo(r)st, I'll pass the mike to thee to respond to esteemed guests at Desi's> He has to excuse himself to rush to Haridas for some cyber teh tarik as there are some "new" visitors. To newies here, "little kernel & multidimid" --Selamat Datang; "yan" needs no intro, I know, she always makes herself at home here --I can't serve anyone beer (Sab can -- 3cans please, Foster-ing goodwill!), for I'm a teetotaller -- ah, that is "someone who totally drinks tea"!
Hi all:
Thank you for your kind responses.
I hope that you won't think that I am going to dump my faith and turn to another religion, as I wouldn't!
I am not blaming Him or losing hope n Him.
It's just that when one walks in the spiritual path, be it of any religion, there's always self assessments.
God asked us to assess our relationship with Him constantly.
Doesn't mean that when you pray to HIm daily or talk to Him daily, you are on a good relationship with Him as well.
Faith is all about surrendering your life for Him. You let Him control up to 100%. Not sure how many of us would do that, as humans we often don't have a lot of faith even in ourselves, let alone God.
However my point is that the true test of faith is when you are at your downdest point, if there is such a word.
How do you see your relationship with Him at these times? Are you still able to be saying that He's an awesome God and all at these times?
Most important of all, are you willing to let go and let Him take charge?
I have found my answer, and I believe that God has slowly given me the strength to do that.
So my question is, are we willing to put faith in Him?
Sure with all the lip service, " He's an awesome God, He is there for us"
How many of us practise what we preach?
Do we live our lives as ambassadors of God?
go take a walk with Jesus
on the side of solitude
a time for silence
a time for dance
All of us should have faith in God because without faith we will be lost in our own world.
If one thinks of God all the time, that person will neither be alone nor live in silence.
I guess all of us need to have faith.
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