GEMS and COALS

I have to bring thee back to reality today from the FANTASY GEM of THE I-LAND. But we still have Gems, plus some Coals, to share, don’t we? Human beings are pretty good in carving out coals of vicedom from gems of wisdom, and vice-versa. I will just narrate some stories, mostly media sourced, one from Mr Coww, who needs ono Intro here, and one recalled from Desi’s memory, which is hardly reliable – so I appeal to thy great wisdom to decide for yourself whether it is vice or wisdom or OtherWISE, OK? The word GREED is spied in some of the moral of the tell-tales. Some words in italics are Desi’s accepted forms of the spelling of highlighting on word-play, so be forwarned, it's merely foreplay, especially to the YoungOnes and Dear IgnorantCows. Don't try imitating Desi when writing your compositions, unless you’re essaying gold! Because your Teacher may not have a sense of humour, or even rumour that this A-grade TeAcher told you that it's sometimes okay to use certain WORDS under Poetic Licence.


Narative 1
From Mr Coww in his Chinese Classic wisdom.

Forewarning: in these days of haze,if Desi’s re-tell suffers from embellishment or deception, blame it on Indunesia, or on the Ministry of Environs.

THE FINGER

A poor farmer was paying due respect to his God one early morn, praying dutifully at the family shrine. An angel appeared before him, saluting his filial duties and hard work on the farm serving the community with his humble produce.

“Today I bring thee good fortune, the Angel said. Look at that boulder, I’ll point my index finger at it, and it will trun to gold and it’s all yours.” The Angel then pointed his finger at the boulder, and hey presto, it became a rock of gold, glittering in the sun’s rays.

The Farmer was amazed, yet his face continued to show disappointment.

“Why my Friend, do you not celebrate? This gold rock is yours, all yours. You are rich now, Go and enjoy thy life – but for your wife gems and perfumes, and for the children, food and drinks,” the Angel advised.

The Farmer looked crestfallen.

Maybe he wanted more, so the Angel pointed his finger at a stone next to the boulder. The stone was immediately transformed into gold.

Yet the Farmer’s face did not light up. So the Angel asked: “Ok, what would make you happy – I’ll try to grant thee thy wish.”

The Farmer looked the Angel in the hand, and pointed to the index finger, imploring: “I want this finger.”;)

PS: A fairy also appeared before me when I was SEVEN, and said he would grant me any wish I wanted. I must have shouted excitedly at the vision -- or isit epiphany? -- to a seven-month old baby: “Mummy, Mummy! – and the fairy obliged with an endless supply of that brand of instant noodles. Hence, my nickname until I was SEVENteen was Mamee-Boy!
I've now grown up, would kill anyone who'd still w'isper Mamee-Boy 'cos I've progressed to seeing Ursula Undress in all her morning glory coming out of the sea, running away from DR NO, and dashing towards Gold Finger.


Narative 2
from theSUN, August 11, 2005, page 10

SPAM king pays RM26m to settle suit

SAN FRANCISCO: A man once known as the king of spam has agreed to pay Microsoft USD7million (RM25.9million) to settle the software giant’s lawsuit, the company said on Tuesday.
Scott Richter, whose company OptInRealBig.com Llc. bombarded millions of Internet users with unwanted emails, was sued by Microsoft and New York Attorney-General Elliot Spitzer last year.
Under the terms of the settlement, Richter agreed to halt bankruptcy proceedings that would have protected his assets from litigation. – dpa

PS: I’ve been spammed tsunami-style too. Can Malaysians take a class-action suit against anybody?If any coolcat here wishes to proceed with one, make me a partner, OK? I offer myself as a WEAKness, I have all the evidence logged up in mySOFTbank©.


Narrative 3
from theSun, page 4 of its Business Section

Yahoo to buy a 3rd of Alibaba


CHINESE e-commerce operator Alibaba.com is in the last stages of talks to sell a 35 percent stake to Yahoo Inc in return for USD1billion (RM3.75billion) and Yahoo’s entire China’s operations, a source close to the discussions said yesterday.
The combination would create an e-commerce giant by bringing together Alibaba’s business-to-business and consumer online auction sites with Yahoo’s search operations, China’s second largest after leader Baidu.com.
A deal would mark an end to Yahoo operating a venture in China on its own. Swapping its country operations in exchange for a structure more similar to Yahoo Japan Corp, in which the US giant holds a 33percent stake while Japan’s Softbank holds a controlling 42percent. Softbank is also an investor in Alibaba, and is said to have been a broker in the current China talks. – Reuters

PS: I picked up this item feeling mighty ‘proud’ that a Malaysian-originating company has made it BIG in China. No, Desi’s mistaken, only Malaysia-sounding-lah. Now I realise my country has been made to look like Mickey. How dare these people steal this Alibaba trademark rightfully from Malaysia?:(


Narrative 4
From theSUN, yes, again, page 9

Colourful graft buster charged – with graft

BEIJING: A Chinese official who said he had to wear a bullretproof vest for six years and hire bodyguards after receiving death threats during his fight against corruption has been charged with … corruption. Huang Jingao, who in a letter to the Communist Party’s newspaper a year ago styled himself as a graft-busting pit-bull terrier, has been accused of taking bribes of nearly USD1million in cash, gems, jewellery, a gold brick and a laptop computer, Xinhau news agency reported.The one-time party chief of Lianjiang county in Fujian province also kept four mistresses and was fond of prostitues, media said. - Reuters


PS: This story is qite familiar to Malaysian rakyat, admit it-lah! PAGAR MAKAN PADI, remember, or we choose what we want to remember. That's ESCAPISM!< I of10 told Mr Coww, No, it was Mr Coww telling Desi, 4 so haz4 today.

When we discuss philosophy, Mr Coww also of10 observes that Man Proposes, God Disposes. Desi, in his great vicedom, sometimes crackfully adds: and ... Woman Exposes(c):((And brudder Mack, I assure you, this is NOT impolite, maybe verse, or fun, or pun, but definitely not profane language – it’s a play of words, remember? ;)





Narrative 5

Yeh, finally, here’s MyStory, definitely embellished and dis-membered, with apologies to the original storyteller! I heard it on the cigarette maker Camel’s grapevibes.

The Bedouin master in the wintry night out in the Zahara desert took pity on his Camel. He took the animal’s two feet into the cover of the small tent, as the cold outside was becoming more bitter.
After some time, the Bedouin felt the cold biting into him, and being a kind soul, pulled in the Camel’s body so that one half was able to enjoy some warmth of the inside of the tent.
After more time had passed, the master felt his body chilled, so he pulled the Camel further in, with only the Camel’s neck and head now jutting out of the tent.
The cold blasts of winter wind and hailstorm became furiouser and curiouser. And being a warm-heArted soul, the Bedouin felt it was cruelty to animals to have his Camel freeze outside. So he pulled with all his might the last exposed anatomy of his Camel into the tent.
He then qietly went back to sleep.
Then suddenly there was a big and loud THUD from the tiny tent, inside!
The Camel had kicked its hind-leg so hard that the Master was sent flying out of the tent, and into the open arms of the Zahara desert, outside!




DESIDERATA: My take in all the above narratives is that humans all over the world are born with common frailties. Basically we are the same, except for the external skin colour of black and white, brown and yellow, and all the shades in between. CHIAROSCURO, remember, I dunno why I’ve become besotted with this WORD, since I looked up the meaning in the dictionary (I’m sorry I used the short of “’ick’ in Mack’s weblog, See http://brandmalaysia.com;) nd it created some MIS-understanding to which I apologized, so I shall refrain …), Indeed, Malaysians and Londoners, Iraqis, Americans, and Japanese, and Chinese all are human. We were all born IMPERFECT, although it’s religiously preached that all humans are born in the image of God. Luckily, some human beings are amendable to change under the right teaching and influence; some are incorrigible, like that camel, or that graftbuster, or mayhaps my own wont to make fun of others, and pun of Coww, once-in-a-blue-moon on myself. And of course, as mGf know very well, Desi is AlWays guilty of claiming a defence in -- IGNORANCE is BLISS!;) to Mr Coww, whom I always pun with, and ALL mGf in the plural, who I AlWays have FUN, PUN and WON with! ENJOY!