My Anthem

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Liar, liar, pants on fire -- Health minister lurches into Helllair

THIS IS A LIGHTED-HEARTED POST, written by a knotty BUMmer who uses lots of what he claims as DDC; if someone irritating as that midnight mosquito hovering around thy ears comes in to remind that Desi's showing off his wordsmithry, you think I care? So to the readers I hold in esteem -- this art is to be taken only half-seriously, the rest in jest if thy hath a SENse of humour.

According to the NST frontpage yesterday (reproduced in full below***as it is short (but I'm not a shareholder or empolyee of the New Straits Times, OK!), the Health Minister has outdone himself, and soon he will join the ranks of his predecessor, Dr Chua Soi Lek, who found the health portfolio had turned into Hell when he confessed publicly that yes,  he was that man depicted into the sex tape, now here's my paraphrasing --  'performing out-of-this-world sex with a woman not my wife...', making him despite being elected as MCA president not tenable to perform in the Cabinet. (Which maketh Liow Tiong Lai a damned happy man, for a w'ile!)

***12 June 2012 | last updated at 12:02pm

Tiong Lai gives up WWW 15

KUALA LUMPUR: Health Minister Datuk Seri Liow Tiong Lai said yesterday he is giving up the car registration number WWW 15 as the number should go to the highest bidder.

Tiong Lai
Health Minister Datuk Seri Liow Tiong Lai said the WWW15 number should go to the highest bidder.
Liow said in a statement, and later at Parliament lobby, that he did not bid for the number and had not been aware of a bidding process for the number.
As it turned out, his office had submitted an application for the number to be used for the minister’s official car in accordance with procedures. “It was an application following proper procedures. I had simply exercised my
option as a minister.”
He  added it was normal for ministers to exercise the option to apply for a car number plate for official cars.
 Liow said his office had received a letter dated June 6 from the Road Transport Department confirming the free registration number.
  "As I know now that there was  bidding for this number, it is only right that I do not exercise my option. The number should go to the highest bidder."
   The highest bid for WWW15 was   RM24,200.
    Liow  said he could not clarify the matter before this because he was  attending the World Health Organisation executive board meeting in Geneva, Switzerland.
 "It is not that I do not want to pay up. The number should go to the highest bidder," he said at the Parliament lobby yesterday.

DESIDERATA: May I record the health minister's belated gesture of "magnanimity" in saving taxpayers' RM, and enriching the public coffer by RM24,200. But it's another case of BN/UMNO/MCA's entrenched habit of "Shutting the stable's door after the horses have bolted"!

Can I digress a byte -- hey, it's educating some of you guys too, although I know that "Malaysia has one of the best education systems in the world", if you believe thy beloved UMNO Education Minister; I declare I beg to differ, not defer, OK!


What follows may contain some rich language, translated as profanities,or approximations of that famous 4-letter F-word;  treat entering this abode from this crossroads as below-aged16 gals entering olde Melaka still under a CM who has a roving eye targetting virginal girls free--for-the-getting because a Cheap Minister is king of all he surveys, as befitting status equal to the King of England of ancient times and chimes and dimes when Robin Hood reigned supreme, and the King's guardsmen ruled Amore supreme!

From an urban dick -- Ooops, in full, --I hope I don't get sued for plagiarising because my intention is GOoD, working so heart for ye, my esteemed/steamed readers:) But I know one diehard RPK worshipper will enter here to give me yet another lecture -- you think I care two hoots? Lord of that Jungle, you dickhead good at nothing-butt-showing-off-your-longwinded-thesis-writing as if you are God's gift to Malaysians conducting a free mistress class in Engrand. Go publish at m2day, they pay in in pound for thy sterling arSEticles, NO?

During our primary schooldays, one popular rhyme -- do they still teach it anymore? -- started wit':

Liar, liar, pantrs on fire

And there are several second-liner versions which follow, here quoting just three, all copied from my brave Googling efforts:

1. "Hanging from a wire"  2.  "Nose as long as a telephone wire"            3. "Your belt is hanging from a telephone wire"

More interesting titbytes follow:

"Liar Liar Pants On Fire" is a playground taunt that is used to indicate each other whenever they think the other is lying.

It refers to the fact "fibbing" is consider naughty, and pants/bottom 'on fire' is an euphemism for spanking.
Child1: Well my dad can pick up a truck!
Child1: Liar Liar Pants On Fire!

Liar Liar Pants On Fire is a phrase that children like to scream at each other whenever they think the other is lying. They also like to scream it at adults who tell them stories about fairies. It is an overall stupid thing to say, since if your pants actually caught on fire when you lied, more politicians would be dead.
Kid: Liar Liar Pants On Fire!
Adult: Shut the fuck up.
Kid: *cries*

Now, can I seek thy permission to quote from my piece carried at Malaysian Chronicle yesterday, titled:

WHOSE RM3 billion! Let me revive an olde issue, BUT not as ancient as what RPK did...

"I nevertheless like RPK also "retrieved" an old issue to ask MCA president Dr Chua Soi Lek, a former Health Minister (turned Hel minster following the sex tape leak more like sabotage from within his party?), and his current deputy-cum-Health minister Liow Tiong Lai, to answer. Maybe Liow would be grateful to Desi to divert attention from the WWW15 shenanigan lurching from one lie to cover a smaller lie followed by a BIGGER LIOW-- oops, BIGGER LIE!" (ends extract)

PS to Mr Liow: as a young man, you and your schoolmates can get away with pokes and strokes of fire telling fibs countered with a bigger lie and lastly rebutted with a grander fiction ala-RPK-ala the Arabian Nights 1,001-times over, but in the end, when you are an adult like now, your pants were reallly afired from a week ago. Now you are standing naked like that"King Who Wears No Clothes", and it just needed a small lad to catch the flaming truth -- Hans Christian Andersen, remember?

Now for the "origin" of that ryhyme -- 'tis from a British writer/poet, so to educate you Ignoramuses who are humble to admit, like Desi, that we are definitely NOT among the best of educators in the world, here's trying to move us up the ladder of competitiveness a little, quoting from

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

“Liar, liar, pants on fire. Hangin’ on a telephone wire!” is a paraphrased version of the 1810 poem “The Liar” by William Blake.

Deceiver, dissembler
Your trousers are alight
From what pole or gallows
Shall they dangle in the night?

When I asked of your career
Why did you have to kick my rear
With that stinking lie of thine
Proclaiming that you owned a mine?

When you asked to borrow my stallion
To visit a nearby-moored galleon
How could I ever know that you
Intended only to turn him into glue?

What red devil of mendacity
Grips your soul with such tenacity?
Will one you cruelly shower with lies
Put a pistol ball between your eyes?

What infernal serpent
Has lent you his forked tongue?
From what pit of foul deceit
Are all these whoppers sprung?

Deceiver, dissembler
Your trousers are alight
From what pole or gallows
Do they dangle in the night?

I conclude with my own dedication to minister-not-forlorn -- oops, not-for-long, my secret wish-lah:

Minister Liow Tiong Lai
Did your parents teach you to live up to thy lust name
It may rhyme with yes, "lie", but it ain't funny
As deputy MC deputy chief, Okay
But as a minister, you nake yoursefl "history"!

By telling one more lie to cover another
Chinese tradition says it's a shame

But Malaysians are forgiving if you step down soon wan day
Emulate your Big brudder Dr Chua, now he's a man
At least he fess'd to that bedside romp
And his wife is magnanimous will not condemn
Say no more, Liow, your latest lie is crap awe da way
Now you say you didn't apply for WWW15
You think we are all still aged sweet&sour13?

Signing off, 
YL, Desi, knottyaSsusual