A Piccaso painting found in Malaysian small town?

KUALA LUMPUR: A painting which might be a work of famous Spanish cubist maestro Pablo Picasso is believed to have been unearthed in a a small town named Seremban, 60km south from here, over the weekend.

Madame Dirpa Conti Wong, who came back to Malaysia with her Spaniard husband some five years ago to retire under the country's MY SECOND HOME programme, discovered the smallish painting -- along the artist's cubist style -- meaures 30cm by 50cm,  while cleaning up her late husband's room which was quite untouched after his death some two years ago.

Dirpa, a Malaysain Chinese by birth, aged 86, felt her own time might be up soon, so she spring-cleaned the room to prepare for prayers in the upcomig Ching Ming festival when the Chinese would visit the departed  loved ones' gravesites to put up the deceased's favourite belongings as offerings to the Gods.

Dirpa told Bermana that she had opened up a suitcase that had remained locked up for the past five years, and she was surprised by the painting  depicting a futuristic theme capturing an animal-like figure in copulatin with a human which was weird by normal sighting but totally "Picassosque" with his famed geomatric weavings that distinguished the artist's works that launched the cubist movement.

The widow said she would be approaching one of the Spanish museums in Spain for some expert examination of this "exciting"  find, and if authenticated to be a true "Picasso" original, she would gladly donate the painting to the leading museum in the country where she had gone to study art and fell in love with a young Spanish youth of noble ancestry, MarkoConti I and later married.

Asked if she would also present the work to the Malaysian Muzium for a look, Dirpa said with a frim "No!".

"From the stories I heard after returnig to Malaysia the past few years, I am worried this original work would be stolen, and fake copy would take its place.

The recent returnee said she had heard or European tourists to Malaysia buying lookalike Rolex watches and other branded goods for a "song" in Chinatown to "gift" to their friends on returning home.

"What if I were to be conned of a Picasso worth millions?" she pensively added as she whoed the foreign agency reporter to the look after allowed her a mere 15 minutes' look at the paiting. ~~ AFFP/Bermana


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A women is having sex with her lover in an apartment 20 stories high. Suddenly her husband returns from a long trip, and she hears him approaching in the apartment, So she tells the lover: "do not move at all. I will resolve this situation!" Comes the husband: "who is this?" asked the husband Wife: "oh sweetie. this is jus a robot I bought to have sex with when you are not around, so that I don't have to cheat with your friends or with the neighbours. I did it because you spend all the time travelling and you know that I........uuuhhm.... have needs!!" Husband: "oh honey I understand perfectly well. I believe you. Ok let's do a quickie now, I came home as fast as I can and I'm extremely horny now!!" Wife: " OH NO DARLLING. yesterday I got my period. you better take a bath, I'll prepare something to eat - so long" The lover is left with the husband in the room alone, while the wife walked out. Husband: "Damn I'm so fucking horny... I am going to fuck this robot instead.." he tries entering the robot from his behind.  With a metallic and robotic voice the lover proclaims : "SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!!. SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!!" The husband says: "fuck this crappy robot. I'm going to throw it out of the god damn window!!" the lover realises that he's 20 stories high in the apartment and exclaims: "SOFTWARE UPDATE!!!! SOFTWARE UPDATE!!!! You MAY TRY AGAIN. I REPEAT. TRY AGAIN!!!"