A NU'E BRIDGE TAEL

Hi, my Esteemed Coders and Decoders, pleAse go back to Yesterdie's Post and give the ANSWERS to the TWO CHALLENGIA. It's just, NOT FAIR< that the hoRst puts on his thinking cap until it leaks and there was jest one Fit-for-Frontpage response. Please three claps -- not crab or crap, See Fei cuntverts like Heln! -- for sisdar Twisted Heels who flu all D'SinniS Way from lundun to FuRong to try the Siew Pau on par with Helen's Cu't&Paste(ry) and down Da Desi's Bridge CODE-ine becos she's D'Flew, turning her face all blew...


DESIDERATA is most times a WRIThER, sometimes a POLITICIAN.
See the reason why in the following nu'es item, and IF YOIU HAVE TO ASK DESI FOR DA RATIONALE, then you are not mGf! No, not Nyet!

~~~~~~~~
From the Star
Wednesday April 19, 2006

People trust docs, teachers

PETALING JAYA: Who do Malaysians trust most? Politicians, business leaders, teachers or doctors?

In a survey of 2,074 respondents conducted by the Business Ethics Institute of Malaysia (BEIM), doctors came up first and teachers second. Politicians were at the bottom of the 15-category list.
Sixty-two percent of the respondents felt that politicians did not tell the truth, while believers numbered only 11%. The rest were uncertain.

The reading for business leaders was not good either, as they were just one rung above politicians.


“Interestingly, there appears to be some identical findings to the British (MORI) survey in the rankings,” said BEIM chairman Dr Zainal Abidin Abdul Majid yesterday.

BEIM conducted the survey to gauge the perception of trust among Malaysians in the integrity of several professions, and also to compare findings with a similar research conducted in Britain by MORI, an opinion research organisation.

Dr Zainal said the MORI survey was done here for the first time after the research director of the Institute of Business Ethics UK mooted the idea during a lecture visit to Malaysia in July 2004.

“In Britain it has been done annually since 1983,” he said, adding that it cost BEIM RM20,000 to conduct the survey.

“The respondents were from 28 organisations, including four government departments,” he said, adding that the University of Nottingham Malaysia and Binary University College helped to collate the results.

“The survey findings is a wake-up call to various parties. These are indicators that our level of integrity is very low and drastic changes have to be made,” he said, adding that the business community must realise that with a high level of integrity the country would be able to attract better investors.

He said it warranted a further investigation into the reasons for Malaysians’ lack of trust in the business leadership.

“The findings should be of concern to the business community, which has been rated second lowest with a score of 16% of trust.”

The integrity of business leaders is obviously at stake, which would affect the public’s and investors’ trust in the way we do business, he said.

Marked differences in the scores between the BEIM and the MORI surveys appear for trade union officials, police and civil servants, with the indication of trust higher in Britain.

It is worth noting that 30% of the respondents believe that the local press tell the truth, while in Britain it is 24%.

Overall, one can conclude that Malaysians are generally less trusting than the Brits.
~~~~~~~~


BUTT Desiderata sometimes has to defend the nation's honour, so when he was selected to reprsent Malaysia-eh to take part in an All-ASEAN Cuntestfor winning an I-LAND under an international dispute, Desi earnestly responded to join Da Quest.

The Sultan of that I-LAND said he has got fed-up of governing his kingdom of 1,001 citizens, comprising 500 males and 501 females, including his lovely, only daughter named Watelse, PRINCESS, who is the Apple of His-I.

The I-LAND is located off the South-North-East-West China Sea, and the United Nasiones has failed to settle the ownership problem because all 10 ASEAN Cuntries claim their unique Honorship. It's ezt to judge a two-country claim like that for Pulau Batu Putih ...but that's H2O Under The Bridge.

Da I-LAND CUNTEST requires the representatives to GIFT THE SULTAN WITH THE BEST DESIGN FOR A BRIDGE TO LINK THE I-LAND TO THE Cuntestant's HOME-Cuntry.

DA PRIZE: Whoever wins will be given Da Princess hand in marriage to a man of the winner's choice, and the I-LAND given to Da Groom's country.

The contest starts:
*Singapore presents a Bridge Model all in shining 18-carat GOLD!
*Indonesia presents a Bridge Model all in slivery 18-tael SILVER!
*Thailand presents a Bridge Model all in plateau mounted PLATINUM.


:
:
:

And the others follow, using the precious metals in the Periodic Table one by precious one...
Until it cometh Malaysia-eh's turn.

DESIDERATA steps forward, he is the focus of all eyes in the Grand Ballroom, with of course, the Sultan's Cock-I, and my, MY, Da Princess' Helenic Pair of Jew'l'd I-I.


Out of the VIP Room steps the most gorgeous Beauty of Malaysia-eh,
Dressed in all her glory and naked purity in her -- Birddae's Sweeuit.
Except for s tring around her wasteline covering the most vital 'hole in the whole body.

A sight to behold.

The Sultan is be-witched.

Da Princess is be-mused.

All the Other9 Cuntestants are cuntfused.
"WHERE IS THE BRIDGE?" they cry out with one unanymous chorus.

"YES,WHERE'S DA BRIDGE?"echose the Sultan, smirking and salivating at Da Wondrous Sight.

Desi's humble response that resounds throughtout the Grand Ballroom like the Sweetest Sound All Malaysia-ehians Have Had Ever Heard (carried LIVE, off course, by the Most Reliable and Uncensored RTMElm!:

"I present to Your Most Excellency, Sultan of Da I-LAND, which I hole in the Hi-est 'Steam, my Gift of our nation's pride - A BRIDE with a G-string, ~~~~~~~ Da BridGe."~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

The Sultan unanimously voted in my favour, of course.
But before Desi could claim Da Princess' Hand,
The Sultan proclaims: The winner must take DA DURIAN TEST...


Saddest words: Da End (Wan...Akhir)


UPDATED @ 10AM, Fridae,April 21, 2006
Day of Loving & Gifting, 'Cos one Y&A dared arsk for IT!
What is Da Durian Test?

from "APPLE & DURIAN POLISHING", March 28, 2006

DESIDERATA does not blame THeels -- she eats An Apple a Day -- London or Washington -- to keep Dr Chua away. Back home, in Malaysia for less-than-wella-informed Ignoramuses like Theels and Howsy, we poor Rakyat believe in eating Durian to keep away Dr Senility. We're leaving the Apples to be Polished -- by POLI-ticians!Hence, they rank the Hi!-est of the people some Malaysians TRUST THE MOST!

Reprise partially~~~~~~~~

Now see if you can discern any connection with the Durian story of survival with the currenty goings-on in Sarawak, where an Eastern Sun has just risen -- and soon it will be that MAD SEASON AGAIN.

State Elections.

Dear ER, Wait patiently for LAST as BreAkFast Dessert is
A Poem DedicAted to Sarawak Tribune Journalists
and
Blogger friends in the State where I always arsk one Oz-returnee blogger
Y&A always surropunded by dames who want to look at his balls
he'rsay of the size of DURIANS or COCO-nuts!:

KenORKnot?

Meanwhile, for some delightful aside, let's adjourn to OUR I-LAND akin to the blockbustier THE ISLAND, I hope my ER remember this is -- about a human clone colony where the inhabitants everyday try their luck at a lottery draw? The winners are then given a Dreanm Holiday supposed to enjoy at THE IDYLLIC ISLAND -- akin to Desi&G++ adventure on board the Super Virgo on the SE7EN SEAS.

But the TRUTH out there is they are clones who are being sent to the slaughter house -- where their "human" parts are harvested for use by their "masters/mistresses" who have ordered their birth as subsititute clones to expand and extend the live-spans of the humans...

It was reported at one blogger's site during the December tsunami disaster, one country's LEADERS WERE STRANDED ON AN ISLAND< and they were rounded up by the natives headed by huge, gigantic, humougous man-like creature named ADA VERMIN. Does the nama ring a bell?

The four leaders -- each representing the sizeable ethnic groups of their country which was completely wiped out but the four survived because they took the only ship available -- wre told they might survive if they excelled in a test. The Fruit Test.

One by one the leaders were to go hunt in the jungle and return with five units of any fruit they think would appeace or please ADA VERMIN.

Number 4, representing the smallest ethnic ciommunity, was sent off first. He came back from the jungle with some red berries the size of kacang putih which were shown to the native head alone.
Number 4 was escorted into a cell, and there was a smile on his face when he emerged five minutes later. He performed well in the test.

The second leader was apprehensive when he went into the jungle, wondering if he should pick a big or small fruit. To play safe, he selected a medium sized fruit, like our rambutan. He also survived though he spent twice the time -- 10 minutes, in the cell, and the smile on his face was less jubilant.

Leader 3 was then sent off on his mission. Shaking his head again and again, he settled on some ripe mangoes.
His meeting with Ada Vermin in the cell lasted longer -- 20 minutes, and there was a small scream audible by the sole comrade waiting anxiously his turn. The third leader was led looking a little beaten -- yet thankful he was still alive -- to join the other triumphant two.

Finally it came the tunr of Taiko who served as Prime Monster for two decades, and what the citizens could do to persuade him to step down, the Gods intervened in the form of the Tsunami. The Rakyat did not survive to tell this story. The blogger found out after interviewing Ada Vermin just before the I-LAND's STATED ERECTIONS where the man with the longest lasting cock-stand became Head. Of course ADA VERMIN won all the time as his fellow citizens were dwarded down there although they were pretty great UP THERE. Which doesn't count.

So the Number 1 set off confidently into the jungle.
"I must take care of his balls, and give him the best fruit we know -- The King Of Fruits."

He thus came back with five durians and was walked to the cell.

There were screams heard throughout the I-LAND
as ADA VERMIN shuffed the durian, one by one, into Number 1's hole
WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE.

The four rounds of

s
c
r
e
A
m
I
N
G
!
lasted an hour,45 minues, 59 seconds -- still countING ...
One more round to go -- the 5th durian, remember?

s
c
r
e
A
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So meanwhile, Ah, the local news item follows~~~~~~~~


Parties pledge all-round support for Taib's continued leadership

KUCHING: Political parties under the Barisan Nasional (BN) yesterday pledged their support and loyalty to Chief Minister Pehin Sri Abdul Taib Mahmud, calling on him to continue to spearhead Sarawak for many more years to come.

Parti Pesaka Bumiputera Bersatu Sarawak (PBB) deputy president Datuk Patinggi Tan Sri Alfred Jabu said Taib's leadership quality was so outstanding that he wished he could "clone Taib for posterity".

"We'll work very hard for the coming state election so that we'll not fail your vision for the State and the people," he said at a thanksgiving dinner held to mark Taib's silver anniversary as the chief minister at the State Legislative Assembly banquet hall here.

The BN component parties, comprising PBB, Sarawak United People's Party (SUPP), Sarawak Progressive Democratic Party (SPDP) and Parti Rakyat Sarawak (PRS), jointly organised the anniversary bash.

Jabu who is Deputy Chief Minister described Taib as the State's development architect for having transformed Sarawak from one of the undeveloped states in Malaysia into the top three most developed in 25 years.

He said he was confident that Taib had every Sarawakian's support because they knew that the Chief Minister was sincere in serving them.

"They've seen your achievement with their own eyes," he said, adding that there were only a small number of individuals whom he termed as "political tourists consisting of political rejects" as they only appeared during election time.

SUPP president and Deputy Chief Minister Datuk Patinggi Tan Sri Dr George Chan, meanwhile, said the party had never wavered from its staunch support for Taib.

"YAP Pehin Sri can be rest assured that when the chips are down, SUPP will be there," he said, stressing, "SUPP will always work very closely with all the BN component parties and is ever willing to do all it can to ensure that Sarawakians continue to live in unity, peace and happiness."

Dr Chan said Taib had always been very fair to all races in the State, placing strong emphasis on racial unity and harmony to ensure that peace would always prevail.

"It is his virtue in advocating a just and fair society that makes him the longest serving chief minister in this country," he pointed out.

With the state election drawing near, Dr Chan called on the people to reject opposition parties, saying that Peninsular-based opposition parties such as Parti Keadilan Rakyat and Democratic Action Party were out to introduce to Sarawak negative, destructive and provocative brand of politics which were unhealthy and detrimental to the State and its people.

Joining in the chorus of support for Taib, PRS president Dato Sri Dr James J Masing said Taib had brought unprecedented development, peace, stability and racial harmony second to none.

He said other states used to view Sarawak as a place full of jungles and animals, headhunters and even cannibals, a misperception that had changed "thanks to Taib's commitment in heightening the pace of development".

"Today we can hold our heads high as we walk among Malaysians," he said, adding, "PRS supports your leadership for many more years to come and we wish you the best of health."

Meanwhile, SPDP president Datuk William Mawan Ikom said leaders in the State looked up to Taib as a great leader, mentor, political father and friend whom they could always count on in good and bad times.

He pointed out that Taib's plural leadership and teamwork were hallmarks which had strengthened understanding and cooperation among leaders and members of the ruling coalition.

"To many of us, sir, you are a great friend indeed," he said, adding that Taib had guided and leaders of SPDP to become leaders with the courage and confidence ever ready to tread the path he had laid before them.

"Members of SPDP look forward to Pehin Sri's continued leadership," he added.



THY MIND IS ALSO MINE

Fools rush in where Angels like mGf dare not roam
And All Good Men never want to contest
Because there is just one party-one voice-one room
If you don't apple polish, you're under arrest

There are some Bloggers who like to dsiturb the hornets' nest
Shuffling the durian up Where The Sun Don't Shine
But don't write too much as it's best
This State is mine, the estate is mine
And hey Rakyat: thy mind is also mine!


PS: Dearest THeels and Other ER, 'Cos you are such sporting visitors, I'm waiting PAtiently (I'm such an esteemed disciple of Hell minister Dr Chua!) for the ANSWERS from the two Objective Tests in WedNURSEdie's UPDATED Post. Leave the Durian Test till you come home to Malaysia-eh!