Now you see IT, Then you Don'...

DESIDERATA was invited yesterday by the powers-that-be to the august House in Jalan Parliamen to cover LIVE the presentation of the 9th Malaysia Plan, with afront seat offered with the VVIPs, as an acknowledgement of the self-professed growing exponentially influence of the 5th Estate.

Instead of accepting with bowed heads and hopes of a Datukship on the horizon, I was accorded the honour with a tehtarik to attend the alternative session at the RUMAHSAKITsikitPARLIMEN in humble environs just down the road. This Desi socially accepted since he is a declared socialist, with some bourgeosie pretensions only reserved for Sundays and prime days, which as founder-to-be of spiriteDestination, is for him to declare. Absolute discretion and privilege.

Since national business is serious, Desi banished any potential intrusion of Desispeak from today's landscape, as he had had his quota after responding to challenging commenters at yesterday's post. Luckily, I survived with 2 for 2 against the host. Thanks Primrose&Sweets, NO TERIMAKASIH, twisted heels&Sabrina.

Okay, back to national business. Please settle down, or downer, and maketh NO NOISE.
Accuracy is of utmost importance in reporting this, and Desi won't stick (if Desispeak were allowed, I would've inserted 'steak', but...) his neck out twice for Marie Antoinette's guillotine.

I have so many stories emerging from the slightly "sick" House, I will give you the OUTLINE by sticking up the HEADLINES indicated by my Wavy ~~~~~~~, SE7EN Seas, remember? -- as opposed to the headlines as normally prefaced by one star * (That's what it's normally worth!) in the mainstream, rival papers.



*Our mission
Better quality of life promised
under RM220bil Ninth Malaysia Plan
'We want progress that is enjoyed by all,
regardless of religion or ethnicity' --
Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi

~~~~~~~
"We want progress that is enjoyed by all, but sometimes Life Can Be
Just, Unfair -- Some Are Born More Equal Than Others,"
the nu'e PM quoting, or plagiarisng George Orwella.
:

* Abdullah ovecome by emotion

~~~~~~~ NU'E PM9 OVERCOMES COMMOTION
:


* Priority on acquiring first-class mentality

~~~~~~~ First-class infrastructure, Mentality Kelas Ke-4 ("see")

NB: The intellectual Editor, trained in Oxbridge University, minus his Latin, uses some Kantonese praying/playing around the figure 4, pronounced as "see", well nigh/close to "DIE".
:

* Four made research varsities

~~~~~~~ Universities to produce Noble Prize whiners
:

* Koh thanks PM for second link, monorail
~~~~~~~ Nation's CEO plans to retire to become Homestead's Penghulu?



MEAN-w'ile, (the apostrophe is for the letter 'h', and that still does not mean usage of Da Desi Code; it's to sress the MEANNESS of this half-past-4 journalist-cum-5thEstate parctitioner..)...

some highlights from RUMAHSAKITsikitPARLIAMEN,
subject to minor/major corrections with the publication of the Hazzard,
whose edition in Bahasa Malaysia over-rides the English version, of course.

GIFT1:

Oppostion MP queries PM9 on PETronas funds

WA (PKS - Seberang Laut): I 'ear that PETronas earned RM35.5billion net profit in FY2005 ended March 2005, some 50% more than previous FY. (FY: financial year.) And this year it's expected to make greater net profit, at least 30% more.
Please why are the Rakyat not tasting any of the sweeter oil we own and produce, while we import less costly oil for local consumption, but the fuel prices keep going up?

PM9: My most honorable Member from Parti Keadilan Sabar, you heard wrong. No, it's a myth that the quoted amonuts were NET PROFITS. It's preTEND. PreTAX, my APologies as I graduate in Islamic Studies, and my Esteemed Advisors are at the Golf Course having their korning inter-course.
The blardy press -- must have beee infiltrated by the foreign rogues - barbarians! -- is always misquoting us public figures.
miniSTER JAM: Can you fix it! Them. Damn. I don't know who. I don't want to know.
Turning to PM10-In-Waiting, like Crouching Tiger: (I know, you know, it's alright. Don't let the Rakyat know! as PM9 whispers to DPM to convey last sentence to JAM, the MoP in the iKabinet.)

(NB: MoP is miniSTRY of Propaganda-ganda Wang Anda;
iKabinet is a Cabinet where K.members come first, middle, and last too.)


GIFT2

Gutsy Oppo Leader asks why BM overrides Englisn in Constitution


LSK (DAE - Tanjung Karam): Mr PM9, is it true the Consttution now has been ranslated into Bahasa from the original English version? And did I hear it right, my Estemed PM9, that the BN translated version over-rides the Original Edition?

miniSTER LlB: Mr PM9, since I am the One qualified in Law, I beg to educate my most hnourable Member for Democratic Action Enterprise that the Truth of the Matter IS that we are embarking on a new Millennium Exercise to exorcise all vestiges of British colonialism and mentality from among our Rakyat somtah we attain First World status by 2019 and we can prepare the Grandest Celebartion at Putrajaya where all the Heads of Nation and Government will attend to pay us tribute, and bring along silver, gold, and platinum, and oils too -- Chanel, Comel, La Dolce Vita,
TongCat Elie ... so this superceding in language of Bahasa Melayu over English is long overdue, and onyone questioning the Act shall be deemed unpatriotic, and stand the risk/risque taste of Marie Antoinette's guillotine that is currently an exhibit bought at RM1,001million from the french museum which the Gomen is planning to activate to First Class use.
If insuarnce policies can have fine print of Over-Riding clauses, what more a Federal Constitution amendment cannot over-ride anything?... since the Rakyat had given us 90% mandate which the Opposition is always so envious of, so my adVICE to the MP from Tanjung Karam and all his colleagues, not try to be heroes, and not, never to raise this sensitive issue again, if he does not want some section of the Rakyat to run amuck, which derives from the local word AMOK...

The Parlimen reporter reported that "Then all hell and pandemonium broke loose as the RUMAHSAKITsikitPARLIAMEN was in deed OVERCOME BY COMMOTION.

DESIDERATA: Luckily the intrepid reporter survived the din that had erupted and we thank him/her ribuan terimakasih for bringing to us LIVE FROM RSsP the commotion and din that echoed throughout the land via live RTElm coverage. And the Speaker,in his wisdom, to keep the peace, and the House in one piece,promptly, or prompted by THE PM9, adjourned the proceedings sine die.

UPDATED@11.45PM: This is off course an loof lirPA spoof. Any resemblance of the characters to anyone you know of course in strictly intenntional and not any pigment of the writer's B&W imAgin'Nation. Hey, ether is a price to pay when you're an elected oficial for you are paid from the Rakyat's hard earned ringgit through blood, sweat and tears.
See you next April 1, Insya-Alla'/Godwillin'.
Have a good 'nightmare for another 15 minutes!