The List...

Yes, I'm letting go with some tales that need re-telling, to relieve some heartBURN -- Sundararaj's, Mave's, Helen's and Desi's. Plus mGf Yan, who came back from a sin-gland Hiatus full of Glee. She has a Ttael to tell about Dead Man Walking...

Go visit yantouch.wordpress.com for more about:


“Dead” man gets to tell his story


DISCLAIMER: The stories here are all fictional, but if they bear any resemblance to any living person, alive or half-dead, it's because they have some conscience. I even see "parts" of Desi in some of the character, as I raed yesterday a famous scientiosts has findings to support his pronouncement -- WE are all born NATURAL LIARS!

Yeah, on weekends (pardon me, Mave SMand AM, I almost slipped and wrote, wickedend...) I lie on my bed, and dream, and dream of thee, my darlin'
like that li'l bird on the pear tree, or one bold one lending on my window sill.

So my muse, speak to Desi
Lest my inspiration die
While I lie ...

First a cool Sermon on Life from Brokeback Hill, dedicated to the "silent" reader/s to whom I had pledged -- if there were just one such reader to Desiderata2000, it will go on and go ... like Celine Dion's theme ballad for the Titanic~~~~~~~

I don't know how I got onto Dr Howdy's List, maybe he fears for my salvation. Perhaps one mGf put Desi's name of The List. Mayhaps I truly need to puase and think about getting on board The List.

~~~~~~~

TTael called THE LIST



I'm kind of a strange tourist. When I was in Halifax, Nova Scotia, I asked to be taken
to a graveyard that overlooks the ocean. There, I walked through rows of these grave markers
that have no name but the same date on them - April 15, 1912. That's the night the Titanic
sank, and these are some of its unidentified victims. A few weeks ago, actually, the Titanic
showed up again on the evening news. Lillian Asplund, the last American survivor of the
sinking of the Titanic, died at age 99. It's believed that there may be just two survivors left
now, both in England. Those names and the name of every passenger are listed on a big
wall at the end of what's called the Titanic Artifacts Exhibit. I got to experience that exhibit
as it toured America's great museums. The list indicated whether the person was a first,
second, or third class passenger, or a crewman. But no matter what their class, every one
of those 2,200 people appeared on one of two lists.

Every person on the Titanic ended up listed one of two ways: Saved ... Lost. Nothing else mattered...


DESIDERATA: I fell in love with Faith Hill after listening to her rendering of theme from Pearl Harbour. But I don't know why people just keep on and on "and will go on and on" with Celine. I want my steak well done. Not over done.
~~~~~~~



Desi's TTael1

House accepts
motion to debate on MAS deal,
Petronas gains

Putrajaya: At the virginal session at the
spanking Nu'e Rumah KacangPutih Parliamen
in PJ's vicinity, Malaysians in the gallery cheered
as history was made yesterday.

Honourable men from both sides of the political divide
put aside their chameleonic colours to demonstarte they
are all Patriots to NeagraKu when the BN-67%-controlled
House of Representatives adopted a DAP Motion congratulating
Petronas for its all-time record of achieving RM100.01billion
in net profits in the year when the nation has truly arrived.
(*V2020 -- EX-PREMIER DR MAHATHIR WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD!)
*The foregoing is bracketed and hence does not constitute
part of The Tale, it's the Journo in Desi putting in his Comment.)

For once, BN MPs were not whipped for crossing The Line
to embrace their once sworn dead enemy -- even PAS and PKR
were pleasantly surprised by the muhibbah spirit that pervaded
the august House, and the meeting was held in July.

The second crossing The Line was nobly allowed by the BN Whipper
to support DAP' motion that in principle approves the sale of 32% EQUITY
OF THE NATIONAL CARRIER MAS to its Thigh counterpart --
Thigher AirWaves Berhad -- which has been growing exponentially at 20%
a year for the last 10 years while MAS was going south. Most MAS pilots
confuse Utara for Selatan looking beyond the far horizaon
onto the Plus highways.

And so the two records for the day -- and a DAP vitory to be flagged
twice in one day in the Hazzards! now writ in English and Mandarin
as a mastery of these two world's lingua franca is a prerequisite
for all aspiring MPs, not French! --
although the latter won Silver at the World Cup in 2006 in Spain,
and Engrand was knocked out at quarter finals and Chinoserie were
only shouting tgheir voices hoarse, like most Malaysians, at the
cheering stands rooting for a Ronaldo, and Rooney, and Mokhtar
and towkay Soh, the latter two invited as VVIP guest appearances
because they had APs.


DESIDERATA: SEE, the Springtime flowering of democracy that started during Pak Lah's time did not enter into a Winter of Discontent, and NegaraKU proves all the sceptics, cynics and dissidents and malcontents WRONG. God Bless Malaysia. I Say Amen -- Desi
~~~~~~~


Desi's TTael2

Even after entering H'avenly Gates, there is the usual politicking that
every Malaysian is/was born with at birth in their blood as a distinguishing
Malaysian property. As the Politikus gather at a Round Table chaired by
the Adjudicator, each entrant is asked for his accounts on Earth.

An ex-PM comes forth, lists all his achievements, hiding all his
corrupt acts as committed by Hatchetmen
without His knowing, too many to mention, and he awaits his reward.
The reward is that for the honourable man,
he gets a nu'e Bride of beauty that ascends with the scale of honour.
Otherwise, in the hegatives outweigh the positives,
he receives dire punishment, with a bride whose ugliness commensurates
with his sins on Earth.

And the Adjudicator gives the ex-PM an "average" looking Bride,
dressed in western garb without the tudung, as his performance
on Earth was rated "average".

Then comes the ex-DPM's turn to account.
All his brothers and sisters on Earth knew of his avarice.
So when the Adjudicator hands him a Bride 10 years
his senior, with a veil covering her face as it dares not
avail of its own display, all the brethre are happy.
"That guy's got his just desserts."

So the train of UMMO, MCEE and MICC and GERAKPAN and various
component partees reps come in for their just rewards, and no one
has grounds to complain.

Then at last comes the ex-Finance Minister.
He is universally known for his galivanting ways. His wanton lusts.
His greed knows no bounds. Even the neighbour's
wife is not safe from his roving hands, even rumoured to
number three.
His face shows the fruit of his sins -- pimpled, scarred,
jaw distorted, eyes bulging and tongue sticking out
involuntarily -- he won't even get a job at KFD
fastfood restraint!

After listening to ex-FM's account, the Adjudicator puases,
then signals the Bride to enter.
There is raindrop-drop silence. In walks the most angelic Beauty
the Earth has seen -- a cross of Siti N, Madonna and Marilyn M
and Sophia Loren in her early days. Yes, all hearts are beating
pitter-patter, and in H'aven it doesn't rain. No, it's sunshine 24.
Sorry, Desi digresses even within H'venly Gates.

There is pandemonium as every other Voice is shouting protest.
The other half is too dumbstruck for words, for it is the most
unfairest adjudicatrion od damned all!

Then the Adudicator said: My decison is final -- muktamak.
The said ex-Minister may be the greediset among you all.
But look at IT this way -- HE's the punishment for the Fair Lady
who has been a CONFESSED SLUT, who has been singing a perfect
rendition of (I've been to paradise, But)
"I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME."



DESIDERATA:

As my mom says, "You'll reap what you sow," --- you pigs, piglets and singers, sinners, and wantan/wandan singles, and sin-glets.
The world is not flat. What goes around comes around.

OR in Chinoserie ~~ Tin yau ngan ~~
The sky's got eyes;
My ER, do you SEE, sie, Si?


Desi's TTael3

I told the story of a former Education Minister who was bewildered
while the Kelantanese population kept rising and rising. Despite the
noble acts of the Health Ministry -- aided by competent officers
on the ground -- going around dispensing free condoms.

The secret was out when the Minister at a demo was told by the
performing Hubby that he -- like all good Muslims -- had to snip
the tip off the condom before using IT!

So the First World UN-SAY-NO-TO-SEX dispatched a world class A-Team to an
African country to dispribute Condoms freely to check the spread of AIDS.
Yes, of honourable intentions, a universal aid programme to help Ignoramus-es
who might be on the way to extinction, and not even one-third sure they'd
enter H'avenly Gates.

Yet after one year, the AIDS rates were climbing, from 1/3 of suffere garduating
to 2/3, still climbing. So a follow-up world class B-Team went to the African nation
to check out what's the probl;em

The secret was out when the High Officials at a demo was told by the aid-recipients
the Condoms were so tasty -- flavours of mango, chocolate, strawberry and durian to choose from -- they chewed them up. Satisfying hunger pangs is better than let them be wasted mounted on a rotting banana.


DESIDERATA:

First World luxuries are Third World survival needs.

Malaysian common men's luxuries of a Continental Breakfast and holiday at Sunway Lagoon are their Political Master's hand-me-downs to their maids-from-Indonesia&Philippines&...who come freely, like Condoms, under Project M.

If thou ask Desi what's Project M, I'm referring you to Howsy, or CASH.