Da Cow Jumps Over Da Moon...

And the Pig goes Oink, Oink!:(

Two starters -- one dark,to down Desi's heart, one bright, to light up Mr Coww's heart -- to start a lazy, hazy, and mazy Saturday FuRong morn!

Starter1: from theSun, Jan 12, 2006, page 10, buried in a bottom nigh corner:(

Who's been sleeping in my bed?

BERLIN: A wild boar was found taking a nap in the guest bedroom
in a bavarian family's house after fleeing from hunters, police
said on Tuesday.
"The sow panicked and was completely disoriented after being chased
in the morning by hunters," a police spokesman said. "It ran into
a village and broke through a cellar window into a house. It fell
asleep on a bed in the guest room."
When the 60kg boar woke up late Saturday afternoon it could not
find its way out of the house. The family called in a neighbour,
also a hunter, who shot and killed the animal. - Reuters


Starter2:more prominent at top left corner, same page!:)

'Death row' cow
wins reprieve

SALMON (Idaho): A cow that escaped last week
from a Montana slaugther house, leading workers
and police on a six-hour chase, will be spared
following a wave of popular support, officials
said on Tuesday.
Del Morris, manager of Mickey's Packing Plant in
Great Falls, said he decided to let the cow live
the instant he saw it cross the Missouri River
through the Great Falls/
Town residents will now decide through a telephone
poll whether the cow ill remain a resident of
Montana, where it will live out its life on grassland
surrounding the packing plant, or be shipped to an
animal sanctuary in Seattle.
Morris said the heifer he calls Molly and her escape
effort attained celebrity status with television
and news organisations requesting interviews and calls
pouring in from across the country and overseas. - Reuters

And *~~~~~~~

No relation to dear mGf IpohLang housed in London...
so I'm not promoting any bias, jest Humour with a capital H!

The Hi IQ Hunters

Three UNC students went hunting. The first thing they
did was to get permission to hunt on a friends wooded
land. Their friend told them if they get lost to fire three
times into the air and he would come and find them and
lead them out of the woods.

After three hours of hunting, the students had not had
any luck and were tired. Not only that they were lost.
The first Carolina student fired three times into the air
and sat down to wait. After an hour, the second student
got up and fired three times into the air and sat down to
wait. By this time it was getting dark. The third UNC
student got up, fired three times into the air and said,
"I sure hope he gets here fast, I am out of arrows".


The Mixed IQ Family

Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married
within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did
your daughter marry?"

"Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late,
wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists on
taking her out to dinner every night."

"That's nice," said the woman. "What about your son?"

"I'm not so happy about that," the mother sighed. "His wife sleeps late,
spends all her time in the beauty parlor, and makes them eat
take-out meals!"

And while the ladies have their FACE-LIFT and sleeping in LATE, this MINDLIFT is for all genders, male, femail, bender and in-between; jest don't be Lacey!

Word Quiz 1.2.6

.
Improving With Age.

"A soft answer turns away wrath," says the book
of Proverbs. And this book of the Bible contains
many words of wisdom every bit as pertinent today
as when they were first set down nearly three
thousand years ago. How many of these words
do you know?

1. diligent (adj.) - A: honest. B: hard-working. C: humor-
less. D: watchful.

2. prudence (n.) - A: cautious judgment. B: fussiness.
C: morality. D: traditional practice.

3. devious (adj.) - A: thoughtless. B: laid-back. C: compli-
cated. D: deceitful.

4. garland (n.) - A: spice. B: wreath. C: ringlet. D: flower
garden.

5. cistern (n.) - A: stream. B: culvert. C: tank. D: tube.

6. sluggard (n.) - person who is A: foolish. B: pugnacious.
C: awkward. D: lazy.

7. vexation (n.) - A: annoyance. B: slyness. C: unfriend-
liness. D: fright.

8. lattice (n.) - A: enclosure. B: covering. C: head
decoration. D: shutter.

9. vapor (n.) - A: breeze. B: ointment. C: mist. D: whimsy.

10. countenance (n.) - A: reliability. B: facial expression.
C: antagonism. D: behavior.

11. repute (n.) - A: reputation. B: gossip. C: denial.
D: illicit business.

12. provocation (n.) - A: solemn statement. B: something
that incites. C: gloomy prediction. D: inclination.

13. abhor (v.) - A: to detest. B: refuse to acknowledge.
C: treat shamefully. D: put an end to.

14. meddle (v.) - A: to force. B: interfere. C: confuse.
D: mix.

15. importune (v.) - A: to insult. B: convince. C: criti-
cize. D: beg.

16. crucible (n.) - A: cross. B: piece of jewelry. C: heat-
resistant container. D: buttress.

17. reproof (n.) - A: addition confirmation. B: expression
of disapproval. C: silence. D: violent agitation.

18. envoy (n.) - A: messenger. B: escort. C: royal attendant.
D: introduction.

19. surety (n.) - A: equilibrium. B: faithfulness.
C: determination. D: guarantee.

20. exalt (v.) - A: to sing. B: boast. C: glorify. D: leap.


ANSWERS BELOW:





Here are the answers:
If thou art truthfool, and got 18 right, you're Desi's standard, if you're 90% truthful, and scored 20 right, you are up to The Bard's. :)
And of course, you undersatnd that this is NOT short for Da Bastard. This Imran reserves for some NINcomPoops!:(

1. diligent - B: Hard-working; painstakingly careful; as,
"...the soul of the diligent is richly supplied" (Proverbs
13:4). Latin diligere (to esteem, choose).

2. prudence - A: Cautious good judgment; as, "...that
prudence may be given to the simple, knowledge and discre-
tion to the youth" (1:4). Latin prudentia (foresight).

3. devious - D: Deceitful; shifty; as, "He who walks in
unrightness fears the Lord, but he who is devious in his
ways despises him" (14:2). Latin devius (off the road).

4. garland - B: Wreath of flowers used as decoration or as
a symbol of honor; as, "[Your father's instruction and
mother's teaching] a fair garland for your head" (1:9). Old
French garlande.

5. cistern - C: Tank for collecting rainwater; as, "Drink
water from your own cistern" (5:15). Latin cisterna (under-
ground reservoir).

6. sluggard - D: Lazy person; loafer; idler; as, "Go to the
ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise" (6:6).
Middle English slogarde.

7. vexation - A: Annoyance; irritation; as, "The vexation of
a fool is known at once, but the prudent man ignores an
insult" (12:16). Latin vexatio.

8. lattice - D: Shutter, trellis of crossed strips; as, "For
at the window of my house I have looked out through my
lattice" (7:6). Old French lattis.

9. vapor - C: Mist or fog; as, "The getting of treasures by
a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death"
(21:6). Latin.

10. countenance - B: Facial expression showing one's feel-
ings; as, "A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance" (15:
13). Old French contenance (conduct).

11. repute - A: Reputation; as, "...do not disclose another's
secret; lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your
ill repute have no end" (25:10). Latin reputare (to think
over).

12. provocation - B: Something that incites or angers; as,
"A stone is heavy, and sand is weighty, but a fool's provo-
cation is heavier than both" (27:3). Latin provocare (to
call forth).

13. abhor - A: To detest; regard with disgust or horror; as,
"He who says to the wicked, 'You are innocent,' will be...
abhorred by nations" (24:24). Latin abhorrere (to shrink
from).

14. meddle - B: To interfere needlessly in others' affairs;
as, "He who meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who
takes a passing dog by the ears" (26:17). Old French medler
(to mix).

15. importune - D: To beg with persistent urgency; as,
"...you have come into your neighbor's power: go, hasten,
and importune your neighbor" (6:3). Latin importunus
(unsuitable).

16. crucible - C: Heat-resistant container in which materials
are melted; also, a severe test; as, "The crucible is for
silver...and a man is judged by his praise (27:21). Medieval
Latin crucibulum (night lamp).

17. reproof - B: Expression of disapproval; rebuke; as,
"Give heed to my reproof" (1:23). Old French reprouver.

18. envoy - A: Messenger; government representative of a
diplomatic mission; as, "...a faithful envoy brings healing"
(13:17). Old French (a sending).

19. surety - D: Guarantee; person responsible for another;
as, "Be not one of those who give pledges, who become surety
for debts" (22:26). Latin securus (sure; free from fears).

20. exalt - C: To glorify; praise; lift up; as, "Righteous-
ness exalts a nation: (14:34). Latin exaltare (to lift up).
*~~~~~~~

posted by 'Thought & Humor' by Howdy | 1/02/2006 |