SINCE RUMOURS SAY that many Malaysians are boycotting the MSM, which stands for mainstream media like The Star, the News Straits Times, Desi decides to expand his community services to keeping my ER, who sits/sit as EsteemedReaders, informed of the news that matters, or it doesn't matter if it's not between your life, and death of the Government. Of course for those cheapskates among thee, which I hope number many, you supplement your diet with theSUN from the 7ELEVEN furthest you. You don't want thy neighbour to discover the truth of your cheapskateness, I know.
Now, I'm publishing the inaugural issue of my newspaper -- trumpet sounds!-- titled the NUDE CROOKED TIMES, to fill the nude vaccum, precisely for what its name implies. No need for any rationale because anyone who's not a moron would be able to fathom it. Of course, I must respect the IQ level of my readers -- if there's any left standing up to this half-completed senetnce, I'm greAtful! -- so I shall not elaborate or that would be insulting thy intelligence. You may then become a menace to Desi and NegaraKu.
As a starting point, I am just letting you use thye brain cells by putting the headlines of my stories side by side with the New Straits Times, and please exercise some imagination and constraint when Commenting. You can afford a suit, Desi for the life and death of him, can't. Which is short for CANNOT, for those hard of hearing or not reading the fine print todie. Don't let anyone come back to Desi, the ex-GEIC of TheSien daily based in London, owned and Eurofied by one Ipohlang called Housey, that I'm pushing news down thy throat, so I let you write the copies spurred on by the hatelines.
To wit, on January 23, 2007, launched with an inaugural grant of 2million from the Nude Nations Media Development Fund:
Frontpage of the New Straits Times, shortened to NST hence~
Quacks
can't
duck
the Act
Page 1 of the NUDE CROOKED TIMES shortened to NCT hence-
The Act
can't
catch
the Ducks,
Quack, quack
Page 2 of NST~~
Over 4,000 NS dodgers,
but action against only 1
Page 2 of NCT--
Under 5,000 NS dodgers,
Action against no 1 - Minister
or no 2 - Face of NS
Page 3 of NST~~~
Full page colour ad by
Wing Tai Asia
Page 3 of NCT---
Foolscap page deliberately left empty
for readers to doodle and leave love mesaages
to other EsteAmedReaders
Page 4 of NST~~~~
PSD to crack down on
'missing' civil servants
Page 4 of NCT
'Missing' civil servants
found high on 'crack
Page 5 of NST~~~~~
Another full page ad on
THE AXA
"LIfe's about
to get so
much better"
PLAN
Page 5 of NCT-----
Another blank page for CreativeReaders
to pen their outAmost thoughts to forward
to GEIC, NCT, for edit for potentiAl
Nobel Prize longlist con-siderAtion
Page 6 of NST~~~~~~
Woman first to be
charged under Act
Page 6 of NCT------
First man, from PRK,
to be
charged under
Cover-up Act
Page 7 of NST~~~~~~~
English
proficiency
still low
at local
varsities
Page 7 of NCT-------
Students' English
proficieny higher
than most teachers'
at schools --
Researcher and his findings
dismissed
Page 8 of NST ~~~~~~~~
Another full page ad
on PUBLIC MUTUAL
Page 8 of NCT--------
ANNOUNCEMENT
Dear Fervent Readers
Please remit 1,000
into Pub'ic Bank AC:
999-999-9-0h0hSE7EN
if you believe in Press Freedom
and Freedom of Speech
and Fleedom after Speech
And to sustain this new community-
service oriented newspaper named
THE NUDE CROOKED TIMES.
Today's edition is just a Trial
Run, and the daily's future
depends on
YOU -- Time's pick as
PERSON OF THE YEAR 2006.
Please live up to the Time's Honour, for
Failure to obtain at least
2,000 such donations would
mean the RIP sign would be put
up at that 7ELEVEN + One counter
nearest you.
ThanksYou. Sieh-sieh. TerimaKasih.
GEIC, The NudeCrookedTimes
January 23, 2007"
12 comments:
wow~ u r farnee~~~ oh MENTOR~~~~ i am a subscriber...a lifetime subscriber too..but like u said. cheapskate~~ soo pls deliver to my house with roti canai + teh tarik for breakfast too :D hahahahahhahahha
Terima kasih.
Really appreciate your free dose of news. Will remit the $$ as soon as the the Pubic Trust fund I purchased 8 years ago actually give me back my initial investment.
For the meantime, pls accept my I.o.U as a gesture of good faith.
Hey, you are still the GEIC of theSien lar! Dun go and cleber-cleber set up new one lar!
Btw, where did you get the 20million to set up NCT? Defamation suits?
freelunch:
I served thee free tehtarik+siewpau+dine; did yiou detect miniuscule taste of arsenic ah?
Be carrefour, don't jest accept free offers, you may meet they water-loo in Seremban with its batu folks like AM and Desi.
I just checked the mailbox, where is thy check for 1,000 ah?:(
PS: Why do I seem to get the impression the MCA campers got into thee, fleerunch, w'ile I was searching for freekopi of Suara Keadilan to pass it on...?
helen:
One reader tortures Desi with another 13 yaers beforer serving freelunches...
Now you're also torturing me with waiting for the Pubic Trust fund to give dividends before re-meating?
Sigh, sigh:
Wait until the ribber runs dry...
iou is not good
Cun't bayi FurongDan or any other food
howsy:
I self-sacked meself from DaSien
Cos I no not received any check
Thereis NOsuchTHINGY as a Freelunch, K!
So stop getting free rides, on my back!:(
PS: I enjoyed your sly frying kisses XX-changed with
femes bloggers, notMONSter-lah
We must ENJOY our rides together
One for Awe, and ALL for wan-mah!
PS: Now send me that check for 10,000
and I'll accept back GEIC DaSien post
One edition per weak the most:(
Desi CnP theOnion.com style? ;)
I don't mind, since Yapunnese also CnP lots of Amedikar idea post WWII.
Will it give you 20mils(US$) ads money if you set up such paper ;)
moo_t:
the Onion.com eh?
The Onion has many layers o sensitive skin.
YL hear has one thick layer -- don't no whether can survive AArmedNo crocodile byes?
I:
S:
A:...
that we Bloggers are on safe shores
ON
*
*
*
spirite
D
estiNATION,
*
*
*
*
Any ER donate 20million, mGf?
I want my Nude Crooked Times NOW!
MOB1900+1:
That 1+ is COS We are almost end-Jan nu'e year!
freelunch2020+helen+howsy+moo_t+ you are number FOUR; Sei-LOL!
Si-liau-liau -- NOT a good Omen; hence could not get a MOB-bbish number of 2000 paying 1000 each to make that 20million. Sorry, Mob1900-1, Try Harder with thy mates, OK!
Maybe pay a visit to that "small" house in Port Klang -- the owner dare may just pay that 20mil if Da NCT puts put on Frontpage, NUDE:)?
you are really funnie la, as always, as how i remember you, i'd sure buy yr nudetimes, it should be nude gay times la...hahaha! write to me when you are free--to catch up!
Sloone:
Sure thou art alOone?
maybe okay to be nude
yes, we're bothYoung&Gay at one time,
Now it's OK to be nu'e but gay
Don't wanna face 4 grey walls
Or another Suit:(
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