OBsin Pomes -- Inspired by Jon

mGf Jon quitE americanised Malaysian invited Desi over to BIG, bad city of Koala Lumpuh for a long wickedend. After o-o-gling at a '70s singer with a dropdead bod and a husky voiz like Helen Shapiro -- remember I'm a Queen for Tonight, but will I have a king tomorrow?"? -- we bantered about olde timez. Both of us are in our "nu'e" forties -- Shaipiro is in her 30s! -- so it was a long CONversasione into the night-till-the-morning-light. And I dunno why, these funny little verses came aboard my mind landscape, and maketh me feel like a teenager again --you know, feel like "I Wanna write that knotty First Love letter to my Form 5 teacher":)...


Okay, for starters, OBsin1:

A Cook, A Hooker, and a Hook

The Cook says to the Hooker
bring me a hook
Then she binds him around
making a figure of eight
Entwined by the hook

Smart asses don't follow the rules of D BOOK

Hooker asks of Cook: How art thou now?
I'm knot wellA
Until I dwell deeper into Thee
So they reverse gear and he goeth Down Under

They twist and turn, feeling dhe hook tighter
And the figure of 8 transforms into a round ball
Ah, that's badder, says d Cook

Explains the concept of Unity of two-in-one
But still there's no equality of the sexes

Yeah I understand why now, replies d Hooker
I feel superior, you are my world
And I'm on top of d world


OBsin2: Wait can-cunt--or-knot?

D Cook Crooks a Dainty Dish

D Hooker asks of d Cook
I'm hungry, cook me a dish

He disAPs into the chickitzen
And within minuets reAPs dashingly
Wit' a dainty dish
Fit for a Queen minus aNightie

D Hooker downs the morsel in a jiffy
D Cook pops the "pepper" in streams so peppery
She feels like a bitch on heat
And he's on chickitzen fire

He seizes her like more than a dainty dish
Why is the pepper so hot and tasty? d Hooker ArSeKs
Ah,it's made of crushed Viagary, d Cook ripperplies

So they hiss, and they kiss
And d Cook goes into almost a stupour, dareth ArSeK:
What's in thy kiss, so hissing and titillating?
Ah,it has a touch of marijuana
It maketh Thee wanna aMore, dunno mana-mana


And the Cook and the Hooker
Maketh love from midnight till the broken dawn
Silence but of queit bliss awe around
And on waking up, the john is steal down

The couple are enjoined in ecstasy
This story is told by Chef Choi to Desi
It's not matrimony of d Cook and d Hooker
Till in the darkest moUrn

D Cook's money is all gone
It's alright, aMEriCUNT greenbacks
It's all like d dish so well done
Its fakery maketh a fool of no one's
Butt d Hooker

NOTE:
This poem is really of d Monk and d Nun
Reprising former role of
A Cook and a Hooker
He's fatherly, she's dropdead looker