pArAlYsIs

Desi is suffering. Paralysis.

I attended a meaningful candlelight vigil on Friday from 7.45PM-9.45PM.
E'en at that time, the morning news break about an accused being freed of an abetment to murder charge was playing at the back of my mind. I guessed then I was surrounded by some 150 "friends" by virtue of a bondship formed by Raja Petra Kamarudin, so that "weight" on my mind was suppressed, depressed or regressed.

But for the past 24, I was suffering all the symptoms of paralysis -- mental suppression, depression and regression. Hence my Sunday's rumination was writ at 12.54AM, Monday, but I set the clock back by one hour. It's "cheating" -- but if Desi can't travel at a speed greater than c, then I need to play a cheating game.

So my post is time-stamped 11.54PM, six minutes from the end of a not so blessed Sunday, November 2.

I have to stop here. I need a break from writing. I will continue when I am up to it.
I know this paralysis is caused by FEAR. DEEP SEATED FEAR. I know from a writer's instinct it has connections with the "verdict" of no case to answer (in legal jargon, no prima facie case was proven) for the accused who faced the murder abetment charge. I know from an writer's instinct it has connections with INJUSTICE.
I know from a writer's instinct it has to do with WHY RPK WAS PUT OUT OF ACTION.In Kamuntiing -- also the raison d'etre for RPK supporters' vigil at the Dataran Seremban Park, preceded by similar outings in Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya and Penang.

Maybe the coming vigil planned for coming Friday -- hopefully to attract a five-fold crowd from last Friday's 150 -- may relieve/release me of/from my pArAlYsIs. I wait.