FOREPLAY and WORDPLAY

Sometimes it’s good to be a contrarian.
If you're an IMPATIENT one today, please STOP reading here, because I;m going to tax you a lot. Tax collection has been privatised to responsible rakyat like Desi!:) Hey, meet me at the coffe-shop, everythin' can be discussed, then Kau Dim with an under-the-table handshake, two also can.

What comes from now is X-rated, not in the S'X department, in the MORALS one. When the word FOREPLAY is mentioned, people want to peek in, like voyeurs of the extinct Mat Skodeng Squad of famous Malacca -- the town is famous, the squad is not! -- I'm writin' DH LAWrence's stuff. DH stands for DeviantHeArt and Law is that which is applicable on spiritedestination on a knotty day like Today:)

Knotty means Desi's not on the best of his behaviour, but WTH/(F), again, pick 1 of 2 to suit thy taste! -- it's GOod to play around sometimes, IT"S ONLY WORDS, AND WORDS ARE ALL I HAVE, To take your heArt away ... B-Gs remember? MistyEiz, I'm also borrowing, like thee ...also-can?

Normally when one blogs, it’s either writin’ in Prose, or those more gifted, in Poetry. Today Desi writhes in Q & A, behaving like a steno-journalist. The lazy way out when all you need is a tape-recorder, and I just picked one freebie up from the Prime Rose Garden.

Furthermore, I must practise what I preach. Today’s a Wednesday – a Day of Woe.
So being a contrarian, I go the opposite – Deliver Joy and go-Go!-Gol!  (Just saw MU playing the Devils lastnite, beat the Satinastas 11-1, ELEVEN since every MU player scored one gol each, and that 1 was put in by the Referee as consolation to the Devils so they won’t haunt him that night for dis-gracing them (Desi @@have -- following The Star's English, you'll undersatnd later if you art patient -- not sinned Gol&Gincu yet, so Desi can’t write about the Gin and the Cu, is there such a brand of lipSTUCK?;)

Q: Why behave thus?

A: Why not? That’s be-heading like an UMNO or MCA politician, as I’m a sworn Opposition member. Closet socialist remember, so the Contrarian is for Today a 110% capitalist and bourgeosie. I need Tiger to verify if my political education is on the 'rite Track, must not lead my DemeanedReaders down (or isit up? English can be so CONfusing!) the Gardner path…. Primrose, have you counted how many blooms are MISSing from thy garden?

Q: Why politician, and not a journalist?

A: A politician in Bahasa is writ Politikus, thus behaving like a RAT. A journalist is writ wartawan, but 99 percent of Malaysians lament they don’t live up to the Nama, News Number One?

Q. Desi, you had served as a BizWartawan, any tips?

A: I'm a little like some (see stress here!) OZ, or some1 from Up North, no tips. Kedekut, remember?

Q. No-lah, not that tip-lah, Stock-market tips, can or not!

A. Oh, I see. (Tho, in reality, I don't, but have to please my readers today.) My advice: For long life, Don’t enter the market. It either burns you, or it gets thee wet. For example, if you’re playing the stock market,where mGf Wong works he's always hot under the collar, and many of his clients suffer heartburns; OR enter the Seremban fish market, where mGf Gan works, he always perspiring and sighing, having started work at 1AM, and his clients always complain of smelling like stinking water after walking the wet market.

(Wong is in one dialect means Lucky; Gan in another means Rolled Over, can maen Mati, Die-lah... (correct me if I’m w®ong-lah…)

Q: Then give us advice where to invest. This is not a Q! OK, okay – re=word: If I want to print money, where do I go? Better. “Lebih bayi”, some ones in the Pasar Seremban says, as he tries to sell you one-week-old prawns, made to have a shiny sheen by topping up with “some per-oxide”, defined as “sum of the oxygen molecules you can count in the prawn on close scrutiny, that is, if thy sight is not blind”. If you don’t know what it means, Desi2,so it's alright. Ignorance is Bliss, most times.

A: Hey, you digressed. You are the questioner, I’m the answerer, I can digress, you can’t!

Now give me can (Bahasa for chance – I’m using some of our National Language because the questioner and his mates like to show their patriotism, using it pasar-style. Now I'm enjoying the LUXURY OF DIGRESSION, better than AGGRESSION yes/no? in building a united nation. Back to answering the unanswered Q – how to make money?

mGf Vong says your chance of winning when playing the local stock market is LESS than winning at the 21-table at Genting Highlands. So following this logic, it’s something like 80 percent of players at the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange (though it’s now called somethin’ else which is not very interestin’..) would lose their pants there.

So when you play the KLSE, go against the herd, and chances at winning would be 80-20. Follow Desi’s logic, and emerge a whiner. Cos it’s said that the final winner is the investor who just enjoys FORePLAY, which is defined in investors relations as STUDY THE FUNDAMENTALS; DON'T RUSH IN LIKE MADONNA -- A VIRGIN -- GO IN LIKE James FOXX, did I get the reference right? Left also can-lah. This is not sitting for the KLSE Licence Exam!

Q: So why is Desi enaged in wit today when it is a WedNurseDay, defined as a Day of Woe?

Cos he’s going behaving like de-virgin Mary today, Mary, Mary quite contrary …remember
TRUTH BE TOLD, it's motivated by mGf blogger H J ANGUS (http://malaysiawatch.blogspot.com) who responded to my asking:"How's the going?":

"Blogging is OK so far but appear to be running out of issues as most are the same old ones. Also not many comments on my blog, unlike yours! Gee I'm getting jealous."

No need to get jealous, H J, some of these commenters, or EsteemedReaders I call them, sometimes walk around like in a Haze or a Maze, then stumble onto Desis Place like Li'l Red Riding Hoods like they knwo not where they're going, so I feed 'em with some TehTarik left over from HariDas the nire before, add in some Ha-Lia, heat it up, Wallah, they are addicted! See, the LUXURY OF BLOGGING! So H J, try some, no, not the TenTarik, altho that's OK2, try some DIGRESSION, it's good for the DIGESTION, of cyber-food.:);)

Q. And why always spell today as WedNurseDay?

A> Just being knotty some times, can? Remember that TV3 Pronouncer, shouting "Chowtic" instead of Chaotic, and everybody rushed to Chow Kit Street to add to the commotion instead of staying away from the explosion.
For the record, the third day of da week should be pronounced Wensday, the nurse is staying very quiet in order not to wake up da patients, you see, or you ‘ear! Similarly, medicine is pronounced "medcine minus the "di" sound, hear me, I.Cows, which rhymes with I.Culs, which is a type of investing instrument, ah ....I digress!

Okay, now I’ve put the record strait (spelling to conform with The St*r style today)on that pronunciation (NOTE this spelling, drop the ‘u” in the noun form compared with da Verb, pronounce, OK!), let’s look at the meaning of FOREPLAY.

Fore means “ahead, in front, leading off…”

Play means “main-main or saying words before you adjourn for the night that tomorrow morning you’ll wake up, don’t linger at da wake!” in Phua Chu Kang’s lingo. I don’t enjoy his shows, but have to watch so I can commeto like today. No choys-lah, PCK says so. Desi says Play is play, pray is pray, don’t mix up those ‘l” and “r”, you Chinamen (see, the women are not included, cos they seldom commit this omission, or commission, can or also-cunt. Some proFUNity in Desi’s ‘ick!, ah, which means “supporting or professing FUN in the cause of Unity). I’m getting knotty today:),as Mack would decry.


DESIDERATA: in closing I say, if I offended anyone, Minta Maaf, ia; I bagi tehtarik dan CurryPuff dari Seremban, Satu makan! Dua mau!!

I was all most finishing my Post today when I underwent email (fe-mail?) interruptus.

The postmaster/mistress was so coy he/she wouldn't want to give Desi his/her name, as nowadays, you can't tell whether it's a wolf hunting down li'l Red Riding Hood.

"*A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."

"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me."

"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."

"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order,he didn't know when he would be able to deliver."

"Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method."

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not"

"Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it."

"Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it."

"Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look."

"Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was..... God, I miss him!"

"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"

"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"

"You're with the Government. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" ***"



@@PS: The reference to The Star above, read this:

(Page 2 caption:( "IT IS UNACCEPTABLE: Rafidah said she never expect to hear factories .......

(Page 8 caption:( "BUDGET ON HER MIND: Programmer Yoong really have to stretch .......


Desi, shaking head after downing ecstasy mayhaps ... to escape the fantasy of the *'s Engrise...says: Mind/Mine thy language!