My Anthem

Sunday, September 20, 2015

rumiNATION, my present abode: MS Angelic Karma


IMPORTANT: If you are on a skiing holiday and you see angels, do NOT fall backwards and wave your arms to make an angel shape in the snow.
They may find it offensive.
Always be politically correct.
Especially to angels.
Besides, if I could have any job I wanted, I would be the Angel of Karma.
Her timing is like SO TIGHT these days.
This rave review was sparked by reader Dhruv Banerjee who sent me a news report about a robber in Illinois who bought a getaway car but failed to pay for it.
At the EXACT MOMENT that he went on a crime spree at the local mall to raise funds, karma arranged for a repossession agent to appear and tow the car away.
Police caught up with the man walking dejectedly down the road.
Had they listened, I’m sure they would have heard chuckling from a nearby cloud (and applause from a thousand writers of bad comedies).
To me, the Angel of Karma is a superhero without the cape and external underpants.
More proof arrived in a second car-related news story.
A Texas woman whose old, broken-down car was stolen by a thief with a tow truck spotted the vehicle in town a month later.
Police helped her take it back, after which her husband found the thief had fixed the drive shaft and paid for new wheels.
Victim Chelsea Peters was said to be “very happy.”
It ain’t just America. These reports reminded me of a case in Malaysia in which a thief parked his getaway car outside an empty house and broke in.
The owners came back and the villain ran away, leaving behind his most prized possessions: toolbox, keys and car.
He returned to ask for them back the same day.
The conversation must have gone something like this.
THIEF: “I’m the guy who tried to steal your stuff but ended up giving you all my stuff! Life’s funny, right? Ha ha.”
VICTIMS: [Grim silence]
THIEF: “Maybe I should just go.”
VICTIMS: “Woohoo! Let’s check out our new wheels!”
Sometimes Ms Karma does not go for the big stuff, but works delicately, with the tiniest of nudges.
In Hong Kong in the 1990s, Yeung Yu-kit, a 20-year-old mugger, leaped onto a victim to steal her purse.
In the tussle, Yeung lost her own purse, dropping it conveniently into the victim’s bag to be carried away.
It was a sort of reverse robbery.
I’m not quite sure what crime they charged her with.
“Committing a grossly ironic act in public,” perhaps.
What does it all mean? I think the Angel of Karma has risen in the ranks and irony now rules the world.
Three proofs:
1) A friend bought a pair of expensive sunglasses and was warned: “Keep them out of direct sunlight.”
2) My local authority canceled Kite Flying Day because high winds were forecast.
3) I bought a pair of scissors and it came in a package that could only be opened by someone who already owned scissors.
At least the Angel of Karma has a sense of humor.

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