My Anthem

Saturday, January 17, 2009

TRUE and thrusted stories...

First wan from myGOoDfriend or mGf for tall or short -- no, not my girl friend in case some of my nu'e (for new) readers don't know that this blardy Blogger Desi is also a proponent of wordsmithry, a less harmful pasttime than witchery -- which can earn thee a stake -- or adultery -- which only adulterated adults indulge in, and YL is knot adult nor adluterated. I'm only 16, BTW if you look me askance, which means you steal shy or Shylock looks at Desi -- don't stare at the white crop on top of this self-claimed Einstein lookAlike. Blardy self-praise is no phrase, I remember my Form 1 schoolteacher having taught me, but he forgot to remind me that wordsmithry doesn't pay as well as lawyering, straight orburuk.

That was a prettyNlong digression for an Intro, now let's resort to pinching the BODY/bodies from elsewhere; the first wan, a femail: as forwarded by Jacq, a Furongknight half-sold into Singa slavery. Yes, they still practise slavery across the Selatan border, and I fear they also take you to courts at the drop of a pin should the writHer ala-Desi go into nigh Slanderland -- not to be mixed wit' Slumberland, that's very de safe! -- as I have aweways been preaching: You B2Bs, get on board Blogswagon soon, like Yesterday, so you can divert from the matter at hand,or foot, and wander off into Digressland. Or sometimes Aggressionland, but please leave Gaza a-LONE, witll you? And that's a rhetorical Q -- and if you blardy Ignoramus should adre aRsEk what's "rhetorical", please get the hellA out of hear!


*****

THE LAW IS AN ASS : A TRUE STORY


A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued and WON!

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.

The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy bought from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable "fire", and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires".

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent U.S. Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

_______________________________

"The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence."

~ Confucius, Philosopher ~


DESIDERATA:
I am contemplating on sue-ing the DPM and MACC for open bribery. Any class-action lawyer outdare wanna be my client? For c'unttext, read KIM QUEK's article on cpiasia.net where he highlighted the most blatant CORUPT atct of bribery committed by none other than the DPM-ucm-PM-in-waiting. You people with some concern and conscience,pray that Najib fella waits till Semi Valued cows come home. And if you blardy Ignoramus should dAre aRsEk what's who the hellA is Kim Quek, please get the hellA out hear2!

*******

A FILIAL CHILDE -- A TRUE STORY

A 71-year-old man -- let's call him "C" as in the third letter in the alphabet riming with See, look C, do you see it? -- was walking down an alley, and suddenly a woman sprang to his side, and let's call her -- not his lean and hungry side -- The Pretty Woman.

TPW: Hello Sir, CNY is near already, and I am alone hear in Mahlai-seeAh all alone. Can you gift me a poor and hungry soul an Ang-Pow?

Seduced by the most sexiest voice on mother GOod earth -- yes, heavenliest female voize not at midnight, for that would be hellish! -- C turned to look at the source of the melody ringing loudly in his almost deaf ears.

C: ***O' darlin' dear, I am a school taughter leaving on half-paension of RM800 which is not enuf for this age of HI-leaving wit' such Hi prices, and I have a wife to support. (4YOU blardy curio cat only: How, C did not venture into!)

*** ODD is C's fave ppraise he uses on de fair sex speakers, young or beautiful, olde or ugly, middle or meddling.

TPW: At least here you are at ome with a family to spend happy CNY. (OK, I'll spell it out for Ignoramuses among my ER: Chinese New Year-lah!- from Desi, not from TPW)Please, do some charity. I'll even spend an hour wit' you if you like.

(Director's/Desi's note: Just now, they passed below a streelight. C saw the most ugliest face he ever saw in the past almost finishing, or famishing, 12 months.)

C: Kasi pun tak mau! (D's note: in rising Hi-desibelles) In fact, I think you should be a filial childe, and gift me two Ang-pows (D's aside: C aweways remembers his sweetest looking spouse at home, as compared with this most ugliest creatute he just spied in bright almost moon-kambing-out night along Seremban alley way, where some stray cats venture into, some times, and a most times reitired ****school taughter does2.)


**** If you currently still teach in a school, you are called a school teacher.

If you have retited, you use the past tense of teach, understand? You blardy Ignoramus3, don't you know your ++++grammer?


DESIDERATA:
I use this spelling ++++ because it was sighted by YL at a recent pamphlet handed to me nigh Temian Korne and it's claimed in the pamphlet to be associated wit' a "British Broadcasting Corporation". The inverted commas are inserted to protect this poor mousey writHer from any potential suit! Maybe I can wrangle via my lawyer a deal: They appoint me as a Teacher to teach Shakespearean English for RM10k a month. Ex-MBs and axed CMs are most welcome, or welcomed, or welcame. See, or C in Lo-N-behold desibelles, Desi's Place is prettyNdemocratik!


C You, my esteemed readers, and have a GOoD wickedend ahead. Or at tail. Have fun-D tall tale-ling, will ye? Yes, rhetoric again, butt if you you wanna spam my Comments column, thou art mostly vvelcometh, vvelcameth2.

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