REcolLECtion of GOoD times 7...Ro'st reprised for HUMOURing self, can du?

Desi likes to imagine he has some GOoD sens' -- not earning BIG bucks dough -- of humour. So jest to occupy a CNY Fridae, who serves as my sexcretary as as a childe born todie, he/ she/it is fool of love. Beg thy pardon if my language offends some easily stirred human nerves who don't have a humerus vein -- sorry I don't writHe to please this particular category of human form because I don wanna to have too short a life on earth; and Heaven is an unknown quantitity, and Hellll has two many enemies waiting to cut Desi's throat. A friend once asked me if there is/was a place between H'n and H'l, so told him half serious to look up his dick...PURgaTORY. He was quite lazy and requested I help by defining the shortest way the meaning, so here goeth:


It is that place in a pub'icLAVATORY quite Malaysian not washed for 15dies Cos all the stuff have gone away for the impotent holyday. And many cheapskate clients steal enter this TO'LET place FREE OF CHARGE to muntah/puke all die after bingEing on yEe sang or yeE hey! Knot yEE sEi, K! It's only the s'xth day (PSSS: realise on 28Jan it should be MINUSwanny!) of the Year of the H2O dragon:) ~~ YL, Desi, knottyaSsusual

PS: If you drink, please you can drive, but DON PUKE, K!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Did you see some Oscar Wilde in "me"?

It's goode to see some Wildeness around in this world of either political correctness or Kampung Wira jungle politikus scurrying for cover out there. Often when one uses wit and sarcasmin local English writing, it's like throwing pearls at swine, that's Desi' honest opinion, okay! And I don't seek your nod of APproval to say this because if you feel the Pedasness, feel free to move out of Negri Sembilan to Tanjung Rambutan!

In Malaysia, I'm sorry to report people don't know the fine art of poltical barb-trading. They only rade in billion-dollar APs and under-the-skirt banality -- sex with a 15-year-olde gali melacot, anywan? Then jail the messenger for the expose/exposure?

Malaysian voters are well served by several ministers whose brains dwell not northwards but tending towards the south near an orifice where the sun don't shine (Think the big mouth who asked "What crisis. Our judi-sirree in crisis?" And at the bighearted councillors and cronies serving r(l)oyal interests, Zakaria the gate-keeper-tunred millionaire and advertising his palace of four storeys as "small") .

Digressing a byte, which is growing to be Desi's passion to get away from the madding crowd, sorry I go literature path eh! -- And if you any reader not so esteemed wanna be English sexpertic todie and ars' why not "the Sun doesn't shine?", who do I ask? Anyway, I guess it does ot matter as even if you took a poll of the 219 Members of Parliament, "Have you read Animal Farm?", it would bring much delight if 10% h=gave an honest "Yes"answer. You further ask if they heard the quote well promoted by former PM Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad -- "There is something rotten in the House of Denmark", less than 10% would understand where it came from,what more its meaning and context, despite gallant efforts by many Bloggers to educate them.

It's a sad thing, a tragedy indeed, the state of affairs of politikus in NegaraKu -- or is it a comedy like some MSM glorifying Zakaria Mad Deros' multi-million ringgit mansionable hosting of a grand celebration of Hari Raya with orphans, wow! how considerate and generous? BUT not making a sound about the illegal structure and where the blardy hell millions came from?

Now, where'sDesi headed this moUrn? To one field where most of the political donkeys along Jalan Parlimen won't appreciate the musings or music of. For most of the two-legged resident periodically there often behaving less civilised than their four-legged cousins at Zoo Negara (minta maaf ia for this comparison) who feed on sick and banal jokes like their sisters and mothers suffering monthly "leaks" was great comedy when the subject was million-dollar cost-overruns in Government buildings that feature roofs and ceilings that crumble soon after their fanfare openings. And a RM4.6billion bail-out is euphemistically called a "soft loan". When then does it become a "hard" one? Ah, when they buy gold-laid coffins to bid premature goodbyes to more of these elected wakill rakyat?

Okay, sorry folks, for the wlong Intro todie -- now I tye by long-hand from page 12, theSun, appearing from behind the clouds after 4 (sie-lo!) days! (Cun'fess: Actually I bruffed as I googled later and reproduced the Reuters Original -- see the header is slightly different from that print copy which you cheapskates got a rlee kopi from at the SEVEN11 nearest you, yes?)



Oscar Wilde crowned king of the quips
Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:11am BST


LONDON (Reuters) - Playwright Oscar Wilde, who even managed to mutter on his death bed "Either those curtains go or I do", was named in a poll on Monday as Britain's greatest wit.

He captured 20 percent of the vote, just two points ahead of comedian Spike Milligan, who had engraved on his tombstone the epitaph "I told you I was ill".

In the Top 10 of famous wits, wartime leader Winston Churchill made it to number five for his notorious putdowns. When accused by Labour parliamentarian Bessie Braddock of being drunk, he said: "Bessie, you're ugly. And tomorrow morning I will be sober but you will still be ugly."

The playwright Noel Coward comes in at number seven, saying of humour: "Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade."

Former prime minister Margaret Thatcher, more renowned for her steely personality than her roustabout humour, was the highest ranked woman in the poll, taking 12th place. She once quipped: "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."

The poll of 3,000 comedy fans was conducted to mark the launch of a new UKTV digital television channel called Dave under the banner "The home of witty banter".
© Reuters2007 All rights reserved.
However, I wear my rights in my closet. Outside it,
Desi does knot observe these claims to Copyrights reserved as he's an out-of-closet Leftist, remember, that Dime of September?)

PS: If you readers put Desi in a fowl or fouler mood, I may return with Amore humour to rumour you.

_________________________________________________________


I jest received a forwarded email from mGf Shannon, and I didn't even know I have a facility to my NAME! Any royalties tocollect hear?



SANTA ANSWER MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY
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Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor?

Needless to say he never made it. You know why?

These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.

************

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - a district in Rome.

Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.

Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - neck of a crow.

Coma - punctuation mark.

Cortisone - area around local court.

Cyst - short for sister.

Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.

Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.

Dislocation - in this place.

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.

Enema - not a friend.

Fake labour - pretending to work.

Genes - blue denim.

Hernia - she is close by.

Impotent - distinguished/ well known.

Labour pain - hurt at work.

Lactose - people without toes.

Lymph - walk unsteadily.

Microbes - small dressing gown.

Obesity - city of Obe.

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.

Proteins - in favour of teens.

Pulse - grain.

Pus - small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - hiding anything.

Tablet - small table.

Ultrasound - radical noise.

Urine - opposite of you're out.

Varicose - very close. posted by desiderata